Eye Eye Yo

Researchers have found a major cause of infant restlessness. After major studies lasting over 4 years and across 18 countries, the team of 50 pediatric researchers has come up with some startling results. The main cause of why infants tend to be restless has nothing to do with their inability to speak about their irritation and illnesses. Turns out, this restlessness is caused by a condition known as the “Evil Eye Syndrome”.

While there is no known source of the said evil eye, it is found that it can happen any time and anywhere. It is suspected that the prime cause of the evil eye is unwanted visitors, but there have also been cases of an evil eye “casting” by viewing pictures of the infant, whether online, or in hard copy photographs. When left untreated, the evil eye syndrome can cause major health problems in the infant, even leading to hospitalization. While there is no certified treatment as yet, the most effective medication for the EES, is the simple warding off of the evil eye, by making two clockwise rounds and two counter-clockwise rounds of a blob of pure iodized salt around the infant’s face.

There is however good news on this front. The researchers have also developed a vaccine for the EES, which can be found at your local beauty store. The vaccine involves applying any black colored mark anywhere on the infant’s body in clear sight of any possible evil eye. The effect of the color black on the evil eye is considered comparable to that of Kryptonite on Superman. The fact that sub-Saharan Africa has the most number of infants with health problems, in spite of being demographically completely black and potentially having no effect of the evil eye was however considered a minor outlier in the said study, considering that success rate in India and China, was huge.

So there we have it. Evil, like beauty, lies in the eyes of the beholder