Aamir Khan and the 100 Crore war on Intelligence

We have a nightly ritual in our house, where I tell a bedtime story to our 5 year old. It could be a book, something from memory, something downright from my imagination, anything. It just has to be a bed time story..

Most often, I invent a story (Have you heard when the animals from the zoo went to McDonalds'? or the one where Chhota Bheem went to Mumbai?). It's not like I am good with inventing stories, but the lights are off, so I cannot read, my memory of my childhood stories are so sparse that the story gets invented anyway, but most importantly, without the story, the child won't sleep.. So I muster whatever ingenuity I can, and basically structure grammatically sound sentences all in sequence and hope that it makes sense, all the way till she falls asleep.

Here the story that I narrate is really not important. What's important is that the child sleeps.

And sleep she must..

Now you might be wondering what all this has to do with Aamir Khan. Nothing really.

It's just that that is how I felt when I came out of the theater after spending 3 hours watching Dhoom: 3.

The story was not important, at least to the makers of the movie. What was important is that everyone be numb at the end of 3 hours, having been transfixed at one gigantic gimmick following another, so much so that everyone (well, almost everyone) believes that they had a monumentally good time, while the only people who are having a good time are those who were financially associated with the movie..

And I really shouldn't be complaining, since you pretty much know what you're getting into when you're going for a movie like this. The 300 bucks I spent, suspending my intellect, I should have spent on something more worthwhile.

Leave your brains behind at the door. That's what they all say.

The money I spent on Dhoom: 3 would really not have bothered me much, had I not seen a beautifully crafted movie yesterday called Shahid. It's a gripping, true story of the lawyer Shahid Azmi, who as a youth was trained in the terrorist camps across the border, but saw the light of day, and eventually dedicated his life trying to get falsely accused youth (mostly Muslim) who have no other means of acquittal, against a prejudiced society, and a cold hearted system. His bravery, led him to be killed and probably would never be heard of, but for this movie.

It was cold, chilling, provocative, realistically thought-provoking, and everything else that I would want in a movie.

And I didn't spend a penny on it, since I saw it on cable. Just chanced upon it at the right time - failing which I would've ended up watching some crap called Besharam (since it had Ranbir Kapoor - I have a 5 year old girl in my house, don't you know?) - and couldn't take my eyes off the TV screen.

This was a story that deserved to be told.

This was a story that deserved to be seen

This was a story that deserved the 250 crores or whatever that Dhoom-3 made..

This was a story that truly, truly deserved my 300 bucks..  

Letting the Truth prevail...

Dear Mr. Khan,


You don't know me, but I do know you. I mean, who doesn't? But, turns out we're related. Related in a weirdass way, that only Indians would consider each other related in such way. Your wife's grandmother was my grandfather's first cousin. Or something like that. In other words, I believe I have relatives, who are also related to your wife.

But that's obviously not why I am writing this open letter.

Let me first start with congratulating you on your wonderful new show. It is a great concept, and the right topics seem to be selected. Also, the show has the right amount of gravitas, and needless to say, an anchor with the exact amount of credibility needed to bring out the seriousness of the issue. As you said in the promos, “Dil pe lagegi, tabhi baat banegi”.

Consider “baat dil pe lagi”

So much so, that I am going to come out with the truth, since the truth always prevails:

I didn’t watch the show.

Not that I didn’t want to, or had no interest in watching it. I did, trust me. But I had other things to do.

Not outside, but in and around the house. Minding the kids, while the wife was out. Paying the cheques for the bills that came, this week being the first week of the month, you see. Putting the clothes out to dry.

That kind of stuff.

But anyway, I’m not going to bore you with details of why I didn’t watch the show. I don’t think you missed me.

Airtel, Reliance, Star Plus probably did, but that’s beside the point.

What I am more concerned with, is that whatever I heard of the show, somewhat disappointed me.

Not that it’s not a great show. It may be. But if you truly want me to watch your show, you need to bring out a show, where not only do you promote a cause; you come up with actionable solutions. Not SMS to 575757 (or whatever) where Airtel provides special Re. 1. charge to petition the government to do something.

Do you truly, truly believe that my SMS will ensure that other people don’t kill a girl child? Pandering to the lowest common denominator with such gimmicks suggest to me that all this somewhere is a marketing brainwave for Star Plus, Airtel, Reliance, etc.. Tugging at our heart strings, making an emotional connection, and then making a profit.

Plus I am more of an ESPN, Idea, ICICI Prudential kind of guy

But I will still send that SMS, like how I go to a temple. Not sure of whether it would help, but it will sure make someone happy. And if that someone is happy, then I am happy. I may be the holier-than-thou, cynical, so-and-so that my wife says I am, or even worse, but I am a practical holier-than-thou cynical so-and-so.

But here’s what you need to do for me:

Forget going to Ashok Gehlot asking for help. Instead, help that poor lady who came to your show and held us to emotional ransom on national television, lodge a police complaint against her mother-in-law knowingly and willing pushed her baby girl down the flight of stairs, for attempted murder. Lodge a complaint against her husband and father-in-law for aiding and abetting the murder. Surely if what she says is true, a crime was committed, and the criminals should be punished.

Similarly, help mothers register cases against their family members who are killing the girl child. A hotline, an NGO, something that will provide them the emotional support. They need our support for showing courage, that what they’re doing is right. That, going against the family, is what is needed to get rid of this cruel practice.

Encourage people to register births and deaths. Lobby the governments to make it easier to register these. You see, the mother-in-law in the above case, would very likely get off scot free, because most likely the birth of those twins was never registered in the first place. How do you prove a murder in the court of law, of someone who there is no record of being born in the first place? There is a law signed in 1969 making it mandatory to register births and deaths. And as of 2001, only 61% of all births were registered.

And if you want to meet Gehlot for something, ask him to lift the ban on the sex determination tests. Instead, lobby him make them mandatory. You see, by banning the test, we’re killing the messenger. The tests, are to date, the only way of knowing whether there is a girl or a boy in the womb. If someone is killing the girls, the tests are pretty much the only piece of solid non-refutable evidence, admissible in the court of law, which can then be used to prove culpable guilt. Keeping the prohibition will only encourage people to approach quacks and practice unsafe practices.

Let’s encourage the use the technology we have, to eradicate a menace. Use the forum of your show to encourage people to do all those things which will help the government catch wrongdoers.

Help people bring the truth out in the open.

Because as you rightly put it, the truth always prevails.

See you Sunday, at 11am to rediscover my television viewing experience.


Best regards,
---


(PS: I spent more time writing this letter, than I would otherwise have spent watching your show. As I said previously, “Baat dil pe lagi”)