Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Sunil Gavaskar - Asshole Extraordinaire

Does any single individual make you proud to be an Indian?

If so, who could such an individual be?

Very likely, I would imagine, it would be someone who has scaled the pinnacle of achievement in his/her field and inspires you to achieve more in your chosen field, regardless of whether it is the same.

Vishwanathan Anand, Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, maybe?? At least judging from people's Facebook updates it seems like this list would be inclusive of such dignitaries.

For me, personally, such individuals don't quite make me proud of being an Indian, but I must admit, I feel happy for them in their successes and share their sorrows like one of my own.

But I do know of individuals who make me ashamed of being an Indian.

Say hello to Sunil Gavaskar, a.k.a Asshole Extraordinaire..

Why do I call him this?

A.   Could it be his completely selfish commentary about how batsmen should slow down when approaching personal landmarks that might mean something in a World Cup Final, but really count for shit if you're in a "Max Mobile" Tri-series with Zimbabwe and Sri Lanka?


B.   Or could it be his blatantly partisan commentary during India games, when as an "expert" he is supposed to be unbiased, though he's not quite the only guilty party of that?


C.   Or is it his acute persecution complex where everything is just a conspiracy of white people with nothing better to do than blame Indians for everything evil under the sun?


D.   Or could it be his ability to say what he wants in the press with absolutely no regard for propriety, decency, or even basic manners, as long as it doesn't affect his remuneration or his various commentary stints?


E.   All of the above.

Money quote from today's TOI – Pune Edition (pg 21)

Replacements are usually allowed for external injuries, yet England was given one for a player who was 'mentally depressed'. How is that 'injury' verifiable? Who verified it? Just imagine if BCCI had asked for replacements for Piyush Chawla and Ashish Nehra, who have every reason to be depressed. There would have been howls of protests at the wealthy BCCI for juggernauting its way through for flimsy reasons.

You sir, Mr. Gavaskar, have fallen way down in my estimation. I may not be qualified enough to give you lessons on a forward defensive stroke, nor can I lobby ESPN to get rid of you, but the least I can do in protest is to call you the one thing that you seem most apt.

Calling you an asshole is an insult to all the other people that I have ever called an asshole, such that I plan to call them up personally and apologise for having ever bunched them up an insensitive, pompous asshole such as yourself.

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