Thursday, January 06, 2011

5 things that irritate me..

I'd say it irritates the s%$t out of me, but then since my bowels don't tend to get as irritated as I do, I'd stick to saying there's stuff that irritates me no end:

·         Numerological name changing:

I believe the wife of "The artist formerly known as Sonu Nigam" cooks better chapatis now that his name is spelled as Sonuu Niigaam (or however it is that he spells his name these days). And don't you know Ajay Devgn actually started making a logical Golmal series movie after he renamed it Goalmaaal 12?


How someone believes that their name spelled any different way would sound better luck for them is way beyond me. To complicate matters, most such "geniuses" have their name picked through the traditional Indian method of "akshar", their names should be therefore be changed in the traditional Devnagri scripts. The sad part is that Sonu Nigam, was easier to relate to than his Sonuu Niigaam.



·         The Times of India, and its various child parts.

My weekly newspaper bill comes to about Rs. 17. 4 weeks a month, comes to Rs. 68 / month. I recently sold 8 months of raddi newspaper – mostly ToI for Rs. 415 at Rs. 8 / kg.  By my maths, once the Raddi rates come to Rs. 11/kg for English newspaper, it might be worthwhile to ask the paper wallah to drop off the paper directly at the raddi wallah so that I don't waste my house space.

Circa 1980's the ToI was an inspiration for me. I wanted to be a journalist, I kid you not. But it irritates me today. Any paper that can sell its front page for the proverbial 30 pieces of silver (and some shares in the company that puts out the advert) doesn't deserve my sympathy. At least now, they have the decency to call Pune Times "An Entertainment and Marketing Feature". It's there, in the smallest print possible.


·         Celebrities:

Have you heard of Danielle Lloyd, Abby Clancy or Kim Kardashian?? I haven't. Good luck to them, but why exactly are they on the sports page of the ToI again??


Call it sour grapes if you will. But when the guy who lost 97 lakhs on KBC is more thrilled about getting an invite to the next Big Boss, you know something is wrong somewhere.  


·         SMS Language:

I believe in change.. I believe in the flexibility of the English language to accommodate different cultures and ability to have new words crop up. But please tell me what this sentence means:

"GM sir.. M nt flng 2 wll.. will cum tmrw"??


·         Acronyms:

Mankind has traditionally used acronyms. As kids, we would have acronyms for everything to give a naughty, teenager specific connotation. Most reading this post probably know that KLPD doesn't stand for the Kuala Lumpur Police Department. But these days things are going too far.. I got an email once which went something like "GM Chirag.. PFA <<the document>> as requested.. FYI, I need the response from you ASAP, preferably EOD".. The document also was in acronym format, but that's proprietary to the company, so cannot tell more..


It's all so FUBAR..

Given all this, imagine how I'd feel when I read the following line in a recent edition of Pune Times.

To ifollo Anushka, type ANUS <space> <your name> to 55558 for latest photos, clips and ringtones ….

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