I am a concerned Indian, and I am not going to stand for this bullshit again..

I received this email in my inbox today:

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Dear Friends! Petrol in Pakistan Rs17 per ltr Malaysia Rs 18 per ltr In India it's Rs.65per ltr Why is there a difference within India itself? World Market? CRUDE Oil is not the reason for this.  It's all Gain for private owners? As we are the general public, or Common Man as R.K.Laxman wud hv said, we have to raise our voice, let's raise thru Emails. Forward this to all Indians who care. IT HAS BEEN CALCULATED THAT IF EVERYONE DID NOT PURCHASE A DROP OF PETROL FOR ONE DAY AND ALL AT THE SAME TIME, THE OIL COMPANIES WOULD CHOKE ON THEIR STOCKPILES. AT THE SAME TIME IT WOULD HIT THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY WITH A NET LOSS OVER 4.6 BILLION DOLLARS WHICH AFFECTS THE BOTTOM LINES OF THE OIL COMPANIES.  THEREFORE "Feb.14th" HAS BEEN FORMALLY DECLARED "STICK IT UP THEIR BEHIND " DAY AND THE PEOPLE OF THIS NATION SHOULD NOT BUY A SINGLE DROP OF PETROL THAT DAY. THE ONLY WAY THIS CAN BE DONE IS IF YOU FORWARD THIS E-MAIL TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN AND AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN TO GET THE WORD OUT. WAITING ON THE GOVERNMENT TO STEP IN AND CONTROL THE PRICES IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE REDUCTION AND CONTROL IN PRICES THAT THE ARAB NATIONS PROMISED TWO WEEKS AGO? REMEMBER ONE THING, NOT ONLY IS THE PRICE OF PETROL GOING UP BUT AT THE SAME TIME AIRLINES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES, TRUCKING COMPANIES ARE FORCED TO RAISE THEIR PRICES WHICH AFFECTS PRICES ON EVERYTHING THAT IS SHIPPED. THINGS LIKE FOOD, CLOTHING, BUILDING SUPPLIES MEDICAL SUPPLIES ETC. WHO PAYS IN THE END? WE DO! WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. IF THEY DON'T GET THE MESSAGE AFTER ONE DAY, WE WILL DO IT AGAIN AND AGAIN.  SO DO YOUR PART AND SPREAD THE WORD. FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW. MARK YOUR CALENDARS AND MAKE* * *Feb* 14th  A DAY THAT THE CITIZENS SAY "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH" We forward so many junk email to many of our friends, now let us do it for some useful cause to cut down the price of the petrol .. .... REMEMBER : *Feb * 14th ***********

I am trying to calculate the number of instances where the logic is not only flawed, but downright insulting to anyone who actually bothers to think..

 

So let's start from the top:

 

First and foremost – Who decided for me that Feb 14^th is this "Stick it up Ambani's backside day"?? Did I ask you to?? If you and your college friends have decided this sitting in your college canteen while having your chai-samosa, let me also tell you that when I was your age, I believed that the world would have peace one day and global hunger would be a thing of the past.. Nothing of that sort happened, nor is it likely to anytime soon.. If you are requesting me to join in your crusade, you might want to lower your volume a bit.. I simply don't share your outrage..

 

Here's why:

 

1.      Prices of Crude Oil remain the same worldwide.. As I type this, price of crude oil is $103 / barrel, which, post processing, leads to roughly 75 Litres of petrol (http://auto.howstuffworks.com/fuel-efficiency/fuel-consumption/gas-price.htm).

 

Let's say our input raw material is worth $103 = Rs. 4532 / 75 L = INR 60.00 per litre..

 

The rough estimate for converting Crude Oil to petrol goes something like this. (Again: http://auto.howstuffworks.com/fuel-efficiency/fuel-consumption/gas-price1.htm)

·     Taxes: 15%

·     Distribution and Marketing: 11%

·     Refining: 7%

·     Crude oil: 67%

In short, if your input crude is at INR 60 per litre, the going rate of petrol should be "crudely" at INR 90 per litre..

 

So, in short if the going rate of petrol is INR 65, then the government is paying INR 25 out of the total bill. Thus, the comparison with Pakistan and Malaysia is, at best, stretching the imagination, since what that simply says is that those governments are losing more money than ours.. I'd rather be in India right now.. Just to compare, at this time, the petrol rate in Germany is 1.47 euros/litre, roughly equates to INR 90!!! There must be a connection somewhere..

 

2.      What Oil Companies are we talking about?? I am an Indian that "cares", and from what I know, we purchase all our oil from the government and its subsidiaries.. Does the patriot want us to cause a loss to our own government??? But I agree, not buying fuel today can cause a dent to the OPEC which provides us the oil. But if I don't buy today, I have to buy tomorrow.. Since the rest of the world has not helped us with this boycott of fuel (even if everyone else helps out, I am sure Pakistan and Malaysia have no reason to, at their rates of fuel!!), all our abstinence has done is that we have not had access to the fuel, but the fuel has been depleted anyway.. Since now the total amount of oil available in the world has depleted, chances are it is going to be more expensive.. So, the fuel I needed today, is worth more tomorrow than it was today.. So, all I have done is paid more for, essentially, the same thing..

 

Nice way to indeed stick it up someone's behind..

 

3.      I don't recall the "Arab" countries promising anything two weeks ago.. Seriously, I read the papers every day.. I don't recall reading any such pledge.. Given the turmoil in Egypt / Tunisia if anything the Arab countries need higher oil prices to provide more subsidies to their people to prevent them from rioting.. Case in point, this is what I DID read last week http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5hJ5YaJomrAvW9R4grf5sXiNBKxRA?docId=CNG.3a4459421ecb447810df126b36e389f3.341 :

"The parliament of Kuwait on Wednesday unanimously passed legislation to grant cash and free food to Kuwaiti citizens totalling over $5 billion to mark national occasions.

The grants, made last week by Emir Sheikh Sabah al-Ahmad al-Sabah, stipulate paying 1,000 dinars ($3,580) (INR 1.6 lakhs) to each Kuwaiti citizen plus free distribution of essential food items for 14 months"

If we were Kuwaiti, we'd stand to make INR 4.8 lakhs for just the 3 of us!!

Incidentally, Egypt is not a member of OPEC, but Kuwait is.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OPEC

Speaking of OPEC members, 6 out of the original 13 members (Indonesia, Iran, Ecuador, Venezuela, Nigeria, and Angola) are non-Arab countries. Other major oil producers are: Russia, USA (Alaska), Norway & Canada. Again, none of the above are Arab.. So, calling them Arabs is kind of insulting, don't you think??

Agreed, we do need to reduce our dependence on oil, but abstaining from oil may not be the answer..

So here are things you might be interested in doing on Feb 14^th :

-          Travel by PMT bus.. or PMPML if you will.. Since the plan is for Valentine's Day, convince your date that she may be sweating, but at least she's sticking it to the big oil companies!!! You could even try using the bicycle, but if you are, make sure your date doesn't weigh too much..

-          Reduce your use of electricity and electrical devices. Switch off your refrigerators, your desktop computers, television sets.. While you're at it, try taking the stairs instead of the lifts.. Do not charge your cell phones that day as well.

-          Don't complain if your electricity is switched off.. You're using too much of it anyway..

-          Try not to buy to buy from Reliance Fresh or go to the malls.. These guys use large oil guzzling trucks to transport stuff across the country.. Instead, buy straight from a farm.. But do remember to travel by PMPML..

-          Definitely do not travel by plane.. Not today, not on the 14^th, not ever!!!

And while you're actually listening to me, here's what else you could do:

-          Try not to insult my intelligence by questioning my patriotism ("Indians who care") or influencing my emotions (Where does R.K. Laxman come in all this??)

-          Try not to create fake outrage through entire sentences in UPPER CASE.. There's enough screaming and shouting anyway..

-          Try not to write such long emails.. Remember, I can write them too!!