Things I think I think - in 800 words

We've been through enough on the "I AM (not) ANNA" issue, that I needn't say more. On the issue that is. What I said a couple of weeks ago, is coming out in different forms today. So, to maintain my uniqueness, I need to say something different.

I need to say what I think.

Or (more accurately) what I think, I think:

I miss the days where I could listen to music while doing absolutely nothing. I write this as I am listening to the intro for "Where the streets have no name" on my phone using headphones. And it's not the same. I close my eyes (yes, I can type quite a bit with my eyes closed) and soak in the song for the while. So, do excuse me for a few minutes, while I am just re-living my past.

Ok, so I am back. It's quite refreshing to spend 5m 38s with loud music blaring into your ears. You should try it. Somewhere in those 5m 38s minutes, you'll probably realize that it's not that you miss the listening to the music, it's just that it's been quite a while since you spent 5m 38s without your thoughts disturbing you. And that's the reality of what I have become. I am unable to spend 5m 38s without a new thought, a new idea, a new opinion coming through and grabbing my attention.

You might say, that I think too much. Especially if every 5m 38s I have a new thought coming up. But I say, I think too little. If all I can dedicate on a particular topic is less than 5m 38s, how can I come up with an opinion that gives me a better understanding of the world? How can I decide whether Anna is right, or Rahul Gandhi makes sense, or whatever?

Are too many thoughts spoiling my (intellectual) broth?

Maybe that's what this is. This is a war on my attention span. For example I read in today's TOI, that 31 lakh respondents have voted for the India Against Corruption poll on their website. I am also told that 31 lakh (3.1 million) is more than the population of 78 countries, and that it is the fastest growing among the most visited websites in the world. And I feel proud of my countrymen and women who are actively participating in this citizen's movement enriching democracy. But maybe if I had spent a little more time on it than what I did, trying to analyze the information, I probably would have realized that for the active citizenry, it still counts for only 0.25% of India's population. And that is assuming that the TOI has taken enough care that only Indian citizens, residing in India are voting on this drive and that too only once. Suddenly the thought that 99.75% of India's population (according to the TOI) really hasn't bothered to drop in on the TOI website (even to look at the titillating photographs) is somewhat sobering and maybe even a little thought provoking.

And that is the core to the problem at some levels. My scales of imagination have dumbed down. I see someone put up their kids photographs, and it's almost like a demand of etiquette that I press the "Like" button. My internet connection may not be fast enough to support viewing of 3 mega pixel photographs, but I'll be damned if I don't "like" it or pass a comment worthy of a plastic smile. What I say doesn't matter, and really no one is bothered enough to read what it is that I have written. Someone will "like" it. I can use tools and implements to mask my hypocrisy and my lack of genuineness

Maybe that's why I'm all so restless these days. Maybe that's why Mika Singh songs are more popular than Kishore Kumar originals. Maybe that's why I keep thinking that my life is in the pits whichever way I look at it. Maybe that's why I need to blame someone for the junkyard of the life they have left me in. I can't blame Pakistan any more, I can't blame foreign hands trying to destabilize my life, I can't blame the CIA, I can't blame the politicians.

I can't blame anyone.

But when I think a bit about it, a bit more than 5m 38s, my life really isn't that bad. Granted, growing up wasn't quite what the marketing department told us, but what the heck? If Triumph of Good over Evil is given, and I am 100% confident in my "goodness", why should I worry?

Still with me?

Or did you already press the "Like" button the moment you saw a U2 song somewhere in the text?

"In life, there are only two truths, Music and Mathematics" – Bapu.