Saturday, January 07, 2012

Maybe it's just me..


.. Corruption is not the biggest issue concerning India. We have been corrupt for years together. Kings and princes gave the country to the British, in order to retain their riches. Judas did it for 30 pieces of silver. Corruption has been going on for so friggin' long that we know how to deal with it. The numbers are higher today, because the payoffs are higher. The Bofors scam cost the government 160 crore extra, with 21 crore kickbacks. Bloody rounding error compared to the 2G scam.

.. Forget policy paralysis, forget election fervor, forget democracy or the lack of it.. The biggest issue concerning India today, is the inability of people (myself included) to think for themselves. Outsourcing of responsibility has reached such levels that even responsibility of thought has been outsourced to news channels.. Time has always been 24 hours in a day. Ever since the Big Bang exploded. Don't tell me you don't have time to think.

.. Speaking of democracy, and how everyone keeps harping about why we're no longer a democracy because we are not free to write anything on Facebook. Well, young man, we never were a democracy in the first place. I don't like Sibal telling me what to post, just as much as I don't like Advani telling me to have beef without cow slaughter. But hey, republican democracy is a collective agreement that we will follow the rules we set for ourselves, which by the way includes holding elections for our representatives. Democracy is not equal to freedom to do anything you wish. That, by my memory, is anarchy. I don't like anarchy. You are free to like it if you wish. Just don't do it here.

.. Which is also why, much as I hate Rahul Gandhi getting prime position to take this country to its doom just because his mom was lucky enough to wait at his dad's table in University, it really doesn't do me any good by ranting at him (Rahul, not Rajiv, who is dead, bless his soul). If we were a true democracy, let alone Rahul Gandhi, but his dad, uncle, aunt, and grandmother would never have come to prominence. But they did. Just as Uddhav Thakeray, Ajit Pawar, Supriya Sule, Chandra Babu Naidu, the entire Scindia parivar, M.K. Stalin, heck, even Jayalalitha did. Some have some merit, some don't, but they did come to prominence because their relatives. And it's not that they wanted to be in that prominence. We've never really moved on from monarchial patronage. If you keep the King happy, you can do whatever you want. So, if the King dies, it makes sense to have someone from his family take his place, so that you can continue your shenanigans. If you get someone new in his place, he will find out your deeds. In return the King has to ensure that his subjects are happy, and leading a prosperous life. Patronage flows at the lowest common denominator. Mahadev Babar's son is going to be the next candidate from Kondhwa PMC ward. I know that, not for any other reason, but that he has a son. Three of them. His seat is vacant, so he's going to get one for his son. If he dies (God forbid, he's a good person), his son will contest the MLA elections. Simple as that. So that's what we are. A democratic monarchy.

.. But why freak out at politicians alone? We have a Jackky Bhagnani and a Hrithik Roshan. Take out Shah Rukh Khan and Akshay Kumar, and every single Bollywood hero that I know of, is there because of his contacts. We have Arjun Tendulkar getting a chance to bowl to Rohit Sharma in the nets. Parents name their kids Mukesh, for Ambani and not the singer, simply because Dhirubhai was a visionary.. It happens, it happens every where.. Live with it.

..  And I hope he never gets his 100th 100. I don't give a damn. What I DO give a damn about, is that we keep losing Test matches. AND FOR GOD'S SAKES, STOP CALLING HIM GOD!!!! You're pretty much associating Sachin with someone who will send you to eternal Hell, because you didn't do as He told you.. God subjects his subjects to tough love like malnutrition and female infanticide. Coming back to SRT, 99 centuries has a good enough ring to it and a conversation piece for a lifetime. If he gets to 100, all we'll say is he was a great player. But we do that already..

.. I don't give a shit when Saif marries Kareena. All I curious about, is if she takes up the "Khan" surname, and whether she converts to Islam. Truly, it's none of my business, but the highest paid Hindu actress in a Hindu majority country converting to Islam for love of someone 15 years her senior, would be a big story, no? Would do wonders for communal harmony. Especially if she takes to the hijaab and wears those fashionable plastic red and white bangles inside. One thing I know for sure, she would have some hot shot designer design her veils..

.. Speaking of which, given the age gap, and the fact that he's a Nawab, would Kareena be a trophy wife??

.. I wonder why we don't make more out of the Bollywood personal lives. I mean, 4 top actors (Shah Rukh Khan, Aamir (twice), Saif (one and a half) and Hrithik Roshan) have married outside their religion. Which is good. It's funny how we enjoy their lives vicariously, having them as role models for what they do on a cinema screen, and not follow their real life good deeds. I also don't understand why these people don't come out in public and say that to them, all this doesn't matter.

.. We're so reluctant to speak about the things that actually bite us in the bum. We keep clinging on to our world view, with no thoughts for how things keep changing.. We're nothing that we say we are, we're everything we say we're not..

That's not just India, everyone..

There, I said it.

Happy New Year, everyone
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