Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Business Class

Is business an art or a science?

Judging by the scores of business books which keep flooding the market, it seems to be a science. Ditto for the hordes of people who join Business Schools the world over. But succeeding in business requires the ability to see the future trends, which is not always something that can be taught. Indeed, if someone were able to see the future, he/she might chuck the business they are in and probably get into the betting market. I was reading "Good to Great" when the Fannie May / Freddie Mac bail out news came in. We were having a case study on how great Enron was, when the Enron flameout happened. Business books & cases have a (valid) criticism that they are more out of showing examples of past occurrences for showing how businesses should work, i.e. making a science out of it, when actually it may have more to do with intuition or even possibly luck.

I don't know the answer to the question I asked above, but I would be very interested in knowing your thoughts on this.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Instructions on how to be an Indian Cricketer

Could not have been put better by uncle JRod. For those of you lazy to go to CWB here it is.. Copied in full

Walk to a public place.

Loosen belt.

Drop trou.

Remove underwear.

Bend over.

Grab ankles.

Now hold that position for about 4 days.

You now feel 30% of the pain that India are feeling right now.

And that is without your mistakes being reviewed.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Here comes competition

No sooner that I declare my intention to run for the election, than along comes the competition to gun for me.. (Mrs. Lobo would be proud... correct usage of "No sooner.... than")

This morning along with the Times of India, I get a pamphlet asking me to donate to the noble cause of getting Mr. Arun Bhatia elected. Now, let's not get ahead of ourselves guys.. Singh is still King.. There's time for the election.. Plus, to my knowledge there's a limit to the amount you can spend on the election.. If everyone was to pay up, Mr. Bhatia would go over the limit, and my money may not be spent..

However, I shall do what no known election candidate has done till in the known history of mankind.

Advertise his / her opponents.


Why should I advertise an opponent, you ask?? Well, for one, you can immediately see the difference between a tech savvy person who has the werewithal to withstand changes due to technological advances and who can channel technological advances to change society in the fast changing 21st century, and an ex-IAS officer who needs money because he cannot run his own website and therefore has to raise the funds to pay for it.

So.. now we have 3 known candidates..

An ex-officer
An ex-pilot
An ex-student..

Seriously, I already have a large votebank cornered.. There are few IAS officers, and fewer airforce pilots.. But almost everyone can relate to being an ex-student..

Btw.. I have already outlined my evil plan for funding my elections long ago on my blog.. Refreshing your memory..

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Singh Is King...

Wonderful news from the Lok Sabha.. The government will stay in power for 6 months more.. 

Gives me enough time to start working on the juggernaut that's coming when I stand for elections..  I already have an IIM graduate lined up for my campaign manager.. He is currently on paternity leave, shall introduce him to you guys once he gets back.. Oh, and once he completes his first year at the IIM.. Right now wouldn't have been the best time.. 

I don't think my manager would approve my leave.. 

Atif Aslam...

..is the least melodious singer to have crossed the border without a visa.. 

..sounds like a bathroom singer who learnt to play the guitar in the shower

..should stick to singing solos.. Duets bring out actually how bad he is.. 

I have nothing personal against him. Honest. But the guy is about melodious as a frog with a sore throat.. 

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Do as Uncle JRod says

Passing the message from Uncle JRod at the CWB blog.
Dearest friend,

A grave injustice is about to unfold.

Are you willing to put a stop to it?

Strangled whispers out of Bendigo St in Richmond say that either Bill Lawry or Tony Greig is to be dropped from the channel 9 commentary team.

Now unless you were born slow, got hit on the head at a young age, or hate life, you will agree that it must be Tony Greig.

Tony Greig is, has and always will be a terrible commentator.

He gets names wrong, he miss reads the game, he barracks all the time, and he talks hours and hours of dribble.

Outside of Sri Lankan administracrats I couldn’t think of anyone who would like him.

Bill is a god.

If someone is boring, Bill will out them.

If something is exciting, Bill will orgrasm over it.

He is passionate and one of the best cricket commentators ever.

Mark Nicholas told his commentators of the 2020 world cup to channel Bill.

Has anyone ever wanted to replicate Tony Grieg?

Greig had to stop his pitch reports from just before the game, because his microphone was clearly hearing the chants of Greig is a wanker from the stands.

And he actually phones in his podcasts, poor form.

I do not disagree that Bill has slipped a little over the last few years, but even if he gets to 10% capacity, he will never be as bad as Tony Greig.

Sign up friend.

He is not a Victorian icon.

He is not an Australian icon.

He is a cricketing icon.

If we get 1000 responses I will send this to Channel 9.

Click here, and Save Our Bill.

Proudly brought to you by cricketwithballs.com, saving the world, one cricket blog at a time.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Dilli ab door nahi..

Here's my top reasons why I think I should contest the next Lok Sabha elections from Pune

7. I have potential to be a good politician. I look good (not as good as the Scindia kid, but not quite Amar Singh either), I speak the 3 main languages spoken in Pune (Marathi, Hindi, English) fluently along with it all its 10 or so dialects (Anglicised Marathi, Anglicised Hindi, Anglicised English, North Indian Hindi, North Indian Marathi, North Indian English, Puneri Marathi, Non-Puneri (but Maharashtrian) Marathi, Sadashiv Pethi English, Camp English, Puneri Hindi), I pay my taxes regularly, I actually drive my own car. In short, I am one of the people..

6. I am not a bad politician either. Been married for almost 5 years now. So, every sort of situation can be handled. The confidence is there.

5. The country now needs young blood, and I need a stimulating challenge. Every politician says so. (About the young blood part, not the challenge part). Probably why a politician ranks as high as Dracula in public estimation. Even "yuva neta" Rahul Gandhi is 8 years older than me.

4. I have an advertisement at my desk with Saurav Ganguly posing which says "With Chirag, my India can dream big". So, I have all of the Durga Puja Sansad of Pune members in my camp already. Now if only I can get Sachin Tendulkar and MS Dhoni to do this ad...

3. C'mon, admit it. If you're reading my blog, I think you think I make sense most of the time. Not bad for a politician.

2. I heard the deposit is Rs. 10,000. People spend more on mobile phones these days.

1. How much worse than Suresh Kalmadi can I be?

There, I said it. Give me more such reasons and massage my ego.

Monday, July 07, 2008

It's a matter of perspective

Babboo writes

Wow Chirag..
You eat in steel plates and have the option to go to the local nai to get your shave
My husband here will come back to India in a heartbeat for these things alone

You should start a blog of just the stuff you experience this way back home.

Well.. I don't think I can start a blog about it, but I can definitely blog about it..

For every time we have the local nai to shave my face for that much cheaper, we also have the possibility of the rickshaw walla charging a flat 10 bucks extra..

But then the rickshaw walla costs 2 dollars to go from NIBM to Magarpatta..

But then he also "accommodates" 5 other people in your rickshaw and asks you to "boss jara adjust" with a wink..

But then each of those 5 share your fare and in the end you end up with paying roughly 15rupees (30 cents) from your pocket..

But the 60 bucks you saved, you end up paying to the Telephone department, because you didn't pay the bill on time, and they don't quite grasp online payments..

But then, calling your family is no longer an ISD call..

But then your family is also right here running your life for you..

But then the family is also there at night to take care of Annika..

But then you have no idea what's going to happen when the family's going to go back home..

But then you have a help who does that and cooks and cleans for you..

But then the hired help also subjects your kid to all sorts of witch craft to avoid the "evil eye"

But then, it works!!!

But if it doesn't, who the hell can you sue??

It's all a matter of perspective and priority.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Things I think I think

10. It's back.. Yeah.. Long time, since I came up with this list.. So, it should logically be lots of things.. but then, it's been so long, that I have forgotten half the things that I think.. But anyway..

9. The world's a small place.. There's a guy in this world called Ronojoy Nandy.. Went to Vincent's (a batch junior to me), works in Intel. Was earlier in Phoenix, but now is in Austin, TX.. Was in India for a month to be with his mom, who's unwell. Lived on Shankersheth Road for a long time. Goes by the nickname of Dabbu

So how does this make the world a small place??

I actually have never met him or spoken with him. As of last Sunday, I didn't even know he existed. I have only heard of him from different sources, who we share as friends.. Folks in Pune and in the US.. Two totally random utterances about him in the space of two days by two people who have absolutely no connection to each other in my presence, have allowed me to piece a picture of Ronojoy.

Fascinating.. Isn't it?

8. Open letter to the "Stainless Steel Utensils Manufacturer's Association of India (Pune Chapter)".. Guys, wouldn't it just be easier to paste your brand sticker on the surface which does NOT touch the food? I cannot eat from a plate where the sticker is touching the food, (nor can most people, I assume), nor can I remove the sticker, because that exposes the glue on the sticker to the food surface. Ask any Seinfeld fan about what happens when you are exposed to too much glue.. Just stick it on the outside surface.. How tough's that?? Apparently these guys eat in ceramic utensils!!

7. This one came to me this morning at the barber shop..

Is Gillette, truly, the best a man can get??

Even keeping aside all weird interpretation of the word "get" and just go with the shaving connotation. I use Gillette's trump item, the Mach III Turbo, and I shave every day. Mostly good, wife's happy, but a good shave, always requires two rounds. Plus, it always has the risk of a shaving cut. This, when I am shaving my own face.

Now go to the local barber and ask him for a shave. Trumps anything the wicked imperialist multinational could come up with. If only he didn't drown me in Old Spice aftershave, I'd walk down every day!!!

6. Nadal or Federer?? Can't say. At the French I went for the Fed, and he got his backside handed to him. I'd still say the Fed, but every time I do that, it's Nadal. Heck, it's Nadal every bloody time, anyway..


4. We have a TV now.. Samsung Slimline 29" with Digital Dolby, and boat loads of goodies. We also have cable. But we have no bloody idea of what to watch.. Any suggestions (besides sports)???

3. Presenting.. Cricket with Balls, the best cricket blog I have read in a long time .. At least since the time Neil Harvey was around!!! Read their In Bed with Daniel Vettori and I rest my case..

2. Kids from my office, who are reading this.. I hope you aren't doing it in office time.. Coz if you want to know what I think, just come to my desk..

1. I think the boss is angry.. Errands to run, while the baby is asleep.. So, Ciao

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Commentators explained

You've probably never met them.. If you are reading my blog here, I think you never have been on TV. So you've probably never met the ex-cricketers who give their expert comments on TV, are you?? But you have met them..

Ravi Shastri - The guy who at the start of the school year would have been the odds-on favorite for head boy, but never really got there coz there really was something about him which made the teachers uneasy. If you wanted a fight, he'd be the guy you would like to have in your corner, but was such a romantic that all the girls would swoon at his mere sight..

Tony Greig - The old rich man who would change his favorite blonde for the latest bimbette in town. Never known to be reliable, but could be relied to be drunk for the family reunion and grovel for more.

Tony Cozier - The accountant who had a thing for numbers and history.. In another age and time, would have been the loyal Munimji given his capability to remember anything and everything related to cricket.

Richie Benaud - Yoda on Earth

Sanjay Manjrekar - The guy who was in the same class as the world chess champion in school, but today works at the local video library. Reminds every one in hearshot that he had once defeated the champ - at table tennis..

Aamir Sohail - Thinks he's God's gift to womankind and every time a girl speaks to him, she's mentally undressing him. Would have been a rock star in another life, with groupies and all, and hopes all this can hide the fact that he's a 40-year old virgin..

Wasim Akram - The genius who would always come up with a wonderful solution to all the tough situations in life, but actually has no clue how it came about.. He was at his most useful when he would shut up and do his thing..

Sunil Gavaskar - The freedom fighter uncle, who hates everything made by the imperialist west.. You always thought that since he was the MP of your town, he could be the biggest thing around, but his principles meant he was always in the opposition..

Rameez Raja - The guy who was the only guy who spoke English in his village, coz he was the only guy who had studied up to Std. X

There.. Tell me you haven't met them..