Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Ground Rules of the Sandgroper Election campaign

I know this is more like Next week's edition than Tomorrow's edition, but it's the next edition all the same. So, like a shameless politician, I shall discount the fact and proceed with the basic ground rules of the election campaign..

  1. Regardless of the ability and aptitude and moral decrepitude of the opposition and our personal opinion of their character, we shall not name names. Thus, you might think that Kalmadi is a corrupt so and so, but we shall not say it during the campaign. Arun Bhatia might be a weirdo, but on this campaign he shall be a noble civil servant. Running for elections requires fortitude of the testicular nature, (or balls one might say), and we salute all those who have shown it publicly.
  2. We may or may not have the best policies or followers. We shall however strive to have the best website among the candidates. Based on number of hits, we seem to be winning the popular mandate.
  3. While we may not name names, we do reserve the right to make fun of the candidates who have shown the above mentioned fortitude to contest the election
  4. We shall not say that politicians are bad people. If they were, I wouldn't be here.
  5. The campaign shall not harp on things that the competition has not done. Instead, we shall harp on what we would do.
  6. We might harp on things the competition has done if it reflects their usual crapola.
  7. We might even harp on things the competition has done if it doesn't make any sense to us.
  8. Unlike other so-called noble politicians, we shall not advertise our candidature through any media outlet other than the internet (and may be cell phone). This is cost cutting at the highest. Therefore for an apples to apples comparison, we shall use only the internet outlets of the competition for our reference material about the competition.
  9. We shall also not require any one to donate anything to the campaign other than their time.
  10. Every campaign blog post shall contain a reference to one of the above mentioned ground rules.

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