Them's the rules!!!!

The irony was inescapable.

Rush Hour traffic at one of Pune's largest chowks. A large poster overlooking all offering Shraddhanjali to the Divangat neta - Maharashtrache laadke - Gopinath Munde.

And 3 cars attempting to cut their traffic light.

Honestly, this post is not about the late Mr. Munde and his unfortunate, fatal accident. It's not even about traffic sense (or lack thereof) or traffic congestion or anything of that sort.

It's just simply about our societal abhorrence for following rules.

What is it about our culture that we prefer to conveniently ignore any rule which stands in our way?

Is it that there is no point in following any rule since there are so many of them that it is physically impossible to be compliant with all of them at any given point in time?

Is it that in our fatalistic destiny driven culture, whether you get caught or not is all in your destiny and is God's way of testing you?

Is it that historically, we have always been a ruled-class - there have been rulers who rule, with an iron fist, and make sure you don't get caught. If you're caught you're guilty, and if you're not, you're not? It's always us versus them, and we really don't believe what "they" have decided for "us" is worth following?

Is it some or all of the above?

Weren't we supposed to in this all together, and this is our country, and we have the right people, who represent our interests and have, in keeping with those interests, set certain rules which we all have supposedly agreed to follow?

I mean, why should I ask my kids to follow rules, if all they see around them is people flouting rules and getting ahead? 

A Rant!!!

I wish I was more prolific in writing.. I really need to pick up this habit again..

All this bottling up inside, is not good for me.. Have been meaning to write something about Modi, something about Rahul Gandhi, etc.. But really haven't found the motivation to do so.. the German phrase, "Kein Lust mehr" is probably more applicable..

I mean, what's the point?? We're on our way (or so the press says) to vote into power a man, who has significant question marks over his character in terms of engineering a massacre for political gain.. All in the name of development.. In normal times, we'd be ashamed of such a development, but in this day and age, there is no culpability, no responsibility, no accountability.. The only people eager to take responsibility seem to be terrorists, and that is after they've caused grievous harm..

The problem is not that the man with the question marks wants to be the leader.. The problem is that no one is questioning him.. The bigger problem, is more like the people are rather looking forward to him being the leader.. People in my own family, actually.. That's what is more painful.. I feel like I am wrong, and I should be the one who should be ashamed for not seeing the light..

Is it really so easy to forgive and forget?? The person who has brought shame to the country, is now looked at as a savior, and we're all ok with it??

All in the name of pragmatism?? 

Aamir Khan and the 100 Crore war on Intelligence

We have a nightly ritual in our house, where I tell a bedtime story to our 5 year old. It could be a book, something from memory, something downright from my imagination, anything. It just has to be a bed time story..

Most often, I invent a story (Have you heard when the animals from the zoo went to McDonalds'? or the one where Chhota Bheem went to Mumbai?). It's not like I am good with inventing stories, but the lights are off, so I cannot read, my memory of my childhood stories are so sparse that the story gets invented anyway, but most importantly, without the story, the child won't sleep.. So I muster whatever ingenuity I can, and basically structure grammatically sound sentences all in sequence and hope that it makes sense, all the way till she falls asleep.

Here the story that I narrate is really not important. What's important is that the child sleeps.

And sleep she must..

Now you might be wondering what all this has to do with Aamir Khan. Nothing really.

It's just that that is how I felt when I came out of the theater after spending 3 hours watching Dhoom: 3.

The story was not important, at least to the makers of the movie. What was important is that everyone be numb at the end of 3 hours, having been transfixed at one gigantic gimmick following another, so much so that everyone (well, almost everyone) believes that they had a monumentally good time, while the only people who are having a good time are those who were financially associated with the movie..

And I really shouldn't be complaining, since you pretty much know what you're getting into when you're going for a movie like this. The 300 bucks I spent, suspending my intellect, I should have spent on something more worthwhile.

Leave your brains behind at the door. That's what they all say.

The money I spent on Dhoom: 3 would really not have bothered me much, had I not seen a beautifully crafted movie yesterday called Shahid. It's a gripping, true story of the lawyer Shahid Azmi, who as a youth was trained in the terrorist camps across the border, but saw the light of day, and eventually dedicated his life trying to get falsely accused youth (mostly Muslim) who have no other means of acquittal, against a prejudiced society, and a cold hearted system. His bravery, led him to be killed and probably would never be heard of, but for this movie.

It was cold, chilling, provocative, realistically thought-provoking, and everything else that I would want in a movie.

And I didn't spend a penny on it, since I saw it on cable. Just chanced upon it at the right time - failing which I would've ended up watching some crap called Besharam (since it had Ranbir Kapoor - I have a 5 year old girl in my house, don't you know?) - and couldn't take my eyes off the TV screen.

This was a story that deserved to be told.

This was a story that deserved to be seen

This was a story that deserved the 250 crores or whatever that Dhoom-3 made..

This was a story that truly, truly deserved my 300 bucks..  

The best few lines I read today..

From Pratap Bhanu Mehta in today's Indian Express: "A sleepwalking economy"..

...The third fatalism comes from an excessive faith in deliverance by a leader. The complete abdication of responsibility by the top leaders of the Congress has sowed the seeds of confusion. It is also true that the institutional chaos in the wake of the corruption scandals has slowed down some sectors. But it does not follow that a single leader can come and fix this. For one thing, there is no evidence yet that the current opposition party has anything sensible to say on macroeconomics. And what Narendra Modi does in fact say on a range of issues of fundamental reform, from FDI to the value of the rupee, is not very reassuring. He also distinctly seems to lack control of his parliamentary party, which is busy putting its weight behind all kinds of half baked laws, including the Lokpal Bill. But it has little time to intelligently talk about the economy.
Admittedly, administrative decision-making at the top will help. But it will get you only so far. Cleaning up the institutional mess on a range of things from contracting to environmental clearances will be a huge task. The UPA's legacy of institutional corrosion is so deep in these areas that rebooting them will not just be a matter of one man's will to give orders. It will be setting new norms. Indeed, the big worry is that the system will again risk wheels getting stuck in the sand if new norms are not institutionalised. While there is some discussion of institutions to tackle corruption, there is very little about institutions to promote growth in a new context.

The Right Reasons

Over the past year, life has been busy.. Quite busy in fact.. I never thought it would be such a hectic life, that I would not get chance to blog about something.. I made a promise to myself (kinda a new year resolution) to write every day for a 1000 words at a minimum, but that promise was a resounding failure.. About 5 posts in, I gave up.. (silly, silly me).. For about the first 4 months I started feeling very guilty about not keeping up to my promise.. I think sometime around April, I posted something again.. but did not keep up..

Months went by, and the odd acquaintance who read this blog once in a while, would remind me why I had not written for a while.. And it bothered me again..

As I have written before, writing for me is somewhat of a cathartic process. I write what I feel, and more often than not, what I don't think I can say in public.. Writing has been my refuge, my comfort food, my security blanket, and everything else.. (you get the picture)..

Over the last year or so, and especially over the last few months, there have been many instances where I have had the intention to write something.. Sachin Tendulkar's retirement, for instance, was one where I had everything in my head on what I wanted to write.. The words, however, never strung together to write a constructive enough post.

And this bugged me no end..

Here was I, who loved to write, who loved to write about cricket, who loved to write about Sachin Tendulkar, and I never wrote anything when he said farewell..

Don't worry, this is not a post about SRT.. It is about me..

It has taken me the better part of a month to realize what it was that made me not do what I liked doing best..

I think, not sure, that I was afraid, that whatever I write should be so good and so constructive, that everyone should "like" what I wrote. Everyone who reads it should comment, retweet, +1, or whatever it is that people do these days.. The fear of meeting and surpassing the expectations of others was why I never ended up going beyond the first word of the post..

And that's completely against why this blog was set up in the first place..

It was set up, long years ago, to write what I felt like, good or bad, sensible or tripe.. Not to receive likes and dislikes and anything else..

So, starting today, I am disabling the auto-post capability for this blog to any social network..

Because I am not writing for others

I am writing for myself..

The Argumentative Indian (in me)

I have not forgotten my new year's resolutions.

I have been meaning to write about so many things, it's just that I never got around to writing them, if you know what I mean. I have been busy, but really not so busy to avoid writing, just that I didn't allocate the time to do it. And so, what was supposed to be 1 post every day of the week, is now at latest count 4 posts in 6 months. Which is being charitable, since the 4 posts were there in the first 23 days of the year itself. Last 5 months and 7 days have been blank.

But then, I am not here to bore you with statistics of how often I write or should write. I know I should write, but to paraphrase Paul Simon, "If I could, yes I would". Nuff said.

So what got me out of this stupor?

2 things actually.

First was a spam post on this blog in Spanish or Portuguese or something. No bloody clue how it got there (there is still some chance that it will be back), but then it got there. Luckily D saw it early enough, and asked me about it, and I was able to delete it in time. But then it also left me with the feeling of someone crapping in my backyard without me knowing about it. And I don't like the thought of strangers crapping in my backyard (assuming I had one)

Secondly, I got to read a post last night about my favorite topic of the sole symbol of all that is wrong with this country, and that is the Times of India. I follow Thane Richard on Twitter, and he has excellent perspective on all that we're hyperventilating about, but then he's American and we Indians don't appreciate taking feedback you see. In some of his past posts, you can see the way he gets "ostracized" when he starts with his perspective on what's wrong with this country. (I wonder what his perspective on the other Indian darling, Mr. Modi is)

Anyway, I fully support Thane in his quest to boycott the Times of India !!! I would have asked you to support us in the cause as well (here), but then I am not the types who is a social mobilizer of outrage, and therefore it really is not my business whether you use it or not.

The Times of India, nay the entire Times Group, (a.k.a. The Bennett Coleman & Co. Ltd,) is the single most dangerous entity in this country today. It should be sent to the sin-bin before the Home Ministry does anything about the Naxals.

Long years ago, (on my first date actually) I saw a James Bond movie, where the villain was a media mogul who manufactured news to increase business. I dismissed it at as typical Bond movie hogwash, but thanks to the Times Group, I am now thinking maybe it was more of an indication of where things are headed.

And seriously, don't give me this freedom of the press bullshit.. If you really believe the Times is a constructive force and a conscience of this country, you probably also believe that this country is going to the dogs, ergo the conscience of this country is egging it on to the dogs, ergo I rest my case.

Phew.. 

So my pent up frustration about the Old Lady of Boribunder is now out.

My Outraged Indian avatar is now sated.

But there is another avatar inside me (among others).

The Practical Indian.

And this practical Indian believes  knows, that 6 people signing to a Causes  website to get a $1.5 billion behemoth to be sidelined, is beyond ridiculous. And that nothing is going to happen. And that moron Arnab is still going to holler on my behalf regardless of whether I have conveyed my grievance to him or whether I have asked him to represent him in airing my grievances or heck, even having a grievance in the first place. (From what I have seen, even if I did meet him, I doubt I'd get a chance to open my mouth to air my grievances)

There might be a chance, but it's about as big as a "dimple on the arse of an ant on the arse of the elephant". And even if with that minuscule a chance, we do succeed in ensuring that we have a boycott on the Times on a Gandhian scale, it's probably not going to make a difference. They've faked so much, that very likely they will fake circulation numbers (assuming they don't do so already). And then they'll still be number 1.

Which brings me to another Indian in me - the disappointed Indian.

Disappointed not with India per se, but with the absolute & stubborn refusal of people to see the obvious.

See, what is peddled in the Times, (and Times Now, and all their media entities) is what has been philosophically described as bullshit. I read a book (On Bullshit - Harry G. Frankfurt) and the description of Bullshit and the distinction from falsehood and truth is quite clear.

... bullshit either can be true or can be false; hence, the bullshitter is a man or a woman whose principal aim — when uttering or publishing bullshit — is to impress the listener and the reader with words that communicate an impression that something is being or has been done, words that are neither true nor false, and so obscure the facts of the matter being discussed; i.e. “the bullshitter is faking things, but that does not necessarily mean he gets them wrong.”

 In contrast, the liar must know the truth, of the matter under discussion, in order to better conceal it from the listener or the reader being deceived with a lie; while the bullshitter’s sole concern is personal advancement and advantage to his or her agenda;

Bullshit thus is a greater enemy of the truth than are lies..

- courtesy Wikipedia 

Now does this not align with how the Times treats us?

But even then, this is not what disappoints me. The Times group is free to peddle all the bullshit that it wants. People pay  for this crap (me included) for whatever reason. They have a right to sell us crap, and if we deem that crap to be worthy of the price we are asked to pay, pay we shall.

What's sad is this apparent role of being the voice of the country - and therefore by extension my voice. It is a sad indictment on this country, and the polity of this country that people assume the media to be the voice and therefore the representative of the country. Per process, it should be the political setup which should represent us, right? Isn't that what their job is? Be our voice to the powers that be? Ensure that we get basic human rights and all that? Basically, be our voice for all that is important to us?

If you haven't dozed off as yet, here's a little secret.. They do. Basically, it's how you define the term "us".

If by "us" you mean everyone that you interact with on a daily basis, your co-workers, your society people, your friends on Facebook and elsewhere, your secret crush, etc., then you being at the center of your universe, you may have a point about being sidelined and feeling like you don't have an outlet to voice out your frustrations.

But by "us", if you mean each and every single one of us Indians, irrespective of religion, age, caste, creed, sex, sexual preference, colour, regional location, then you will see that the political class represents pretty much the average of the various spheres.

It's just that you we are way out on the fringe.

And the day we realize this, tempers will be soothed a little bit

And the Times will go back to reporting the news, and not telling me how I feel about hearing the news.. 

There's something about Modi..

Lately, whether I am reading the news or scanning Facebook, I get the impression that in 2014, we’re going to have Narendra Modi as the prime minister of India. It is just a small matter of having the elections over and done with. The shouting over the rooftops, the writing on the wall, the entire point of the discussion is that it is a mere formality, just the coronation is pending. All this dilly-dallying, nonsensical, rudderless style of governance will end, and will be replaced by a strong, patriotic leader who will bring India back to the days of 9% GDP growth till our kids have kids of their own. (After that, who really cares man, after all the whole point of life is to play with grandchildren!!!)

But given that this is being billed by everyone and their nanaji, that this is a straight fight between Mr. Modi and Mr. Rahul Gandhi, and given that I have already sent out an open letter to Mr. Gandhi on this blog (which you can read at leisure here) on what he would have to do to get my vote in 2014 (or whenever), I think it is incumbent on me to give a similar bhashan to Mr. Modi.

Mr. Modi, 

Please surprise me.

Thanks,
Chirag Panjikar.

Dang!!! That was so easy, I could even have tweeted it!!!

I have been accused of a Congress supporter in the past, but it’s truly not the case. I really don’t see the difference between the average Congress politician, and any other average politician. Which is what everyone seems to say anyway, when they utter the standard refrain of “All Politicians are the same!!!?”, and I do have extremely, extremely, extremely low expectations of the standard politician. 

But what I am hearing from Mr. Modi seems to be different, so I am interested & intrigued by this new language. I must admit I didn’t read or see the speech he gave at the Sri Ram College in Delhi, but whatever I read, seemed to be a fair representation of what I think is needed in this country.

Yes, the youth of this country is the future, and is where we can differentiate ourselves from the rest of the world. Yes, government has not business to be in business (among other things. I mean c’mon, why should there be a ministry of sports & youth affairs, or a ministry for animal husbandry). Yes, there should be no vote bank politics. And all that jazz.

All in all, it’s very difficult for me to decipher whether or not he’s going to be the one. But for what it’s worth, the guy doesn’t pass my “smell” test. I wish I could elaborate, and not be able to restrict myself to abstract smell tests to gauge the character of a person. There’s something about this entire narrative that leaves me as yet unconvinced that his policies are the best thing for India. But I’m still not convinced that he’s the guy to do this for us.

Here’s why:

Most of the people I see supporting or denouncing Mr. Modi seem to make emotional cases for their opinion, and very little data to convince me this way or that. Based on the material available on the internet, there’s really no conclusive evidence this way or that whether he’s the next prophet.

I read a report that Gujarat is the best state in India to do business, but I also read that off the 1000-odd MOUs of starting a business, the state has only about 50 or so projects which have taken off.

I read somewhere that Gujarat is at  9% annual GDP growth, but then so is Maharashtra and that too with a much higher base, and from personal experience I can vouch that the government of Maharashtra is ridiculously incompetent.

My Facebook wall tells me that he will take a bullet on his 56” chest before anything wrong happens in India, but then it also tells me that if I type 71 and “like”, then some kid in that photo will start dancing.

I don’t know whether it is the fact that while Gujarat has the largest amount of MOUs signed for investment every year, for some reason it has an extremely meager amount of businesses actually fructify. I keep hearing that business heads are saying we need a leader like him, but other than Mr. Tata*, no one has invested much in that state (anew. Reliance and Adani have been there since before. GM is there, but from what I recall, it has been there for a while, before this hype started). I don’t know much about the budget of the state, but surely given his popularity with the net savvy public, if the state had a budget surplus then we would have heard about it over and over and over again. (A simple search will lead to an RBI document (see here) which will suggest that the debt to GDP ratio of Gujarat is above average, and has the third highest interest-revenue expenditure ratio) Neither does it seem to have taxes any lower than the average state in India. Almost none of the people who are shouting over the rooftops to have him installed as the leader are from Gujarat, nor do they seem to have any intention of moving there.

So on what exact basis people are clamoring for him, is beyond me. However, there are some things that do trouble me, and these have nothing to do with any nonsensical labeling of “communal” politics. The Congress is, if anything, much more communal than the BJP, and is also spectacularly and shamelessly cynical about it.

What troubles me, is that anytime someone tries to write anything remotely negative him about him, you get a slew of trolls after you like zombies**. What troubles me is that any voice of dissent in his own state has been crushed ruthlessly like a dictator would do to a prospective coup. What troubles me, is that most of this seems to be the handiwork of a PR agency called APCO, which has been contracted to promote Mr. Modi (not the state of Gujarat). What troubles me is that any time I check anything remotely related to Gujarat, I see his face and nothing and no one else. What troubles me, is that other than Mr. Modi, the only other ministers from his cabinet that I hear of, are when they are convicted of carnage. What troubles me is that the justification of having said ministers in the cabinet, is the example of Kamal Nath, which really is not a factor of differentiation from the other team, when your main point is that you're different from the other team...

But then, surely so many Gujaratis cannot go wrong. Surely so many of my friends cannot be wrong (I mean, scientifically comparing a sample size of one (me) to a sample of a few millions, you know which one is more reliable, right?) Surely, they’ve seen something in the man that has them convinced that he is the one to lead us to the path of salvation, and is not really the BJP’s answer to Indira Gandhi’s despotism. Surely, when he comes to power all of India’s ills will get solved, even though the last time the BJP was in power, we had a year of about 4% GDP growth, terrorists attacked the Indian parliament, and the Indian intelligence setup failed so miserably that the Pakistani army actually crossed the border leading to the Kargil war. Surely, he is a patriot of unquestionable integrity, who just happens to be in politics, an area where anyone associated is immediately considered as ruthless, self-centered and corrupt. 

Which is why, all I can say is,

Mr. Modi, please surprise me!!!! 

*- Full disclosure: The company I work for has invested in a mid-size manufacturing plant in Gujarat and also has a Public-Private-Partnership with the Government of Gujarat. The post on this blog is in my personal capacity as a citizen of India, and has no bearing on any professional commitments. In any case, the main point of this post if you haven't figured out yet, is that the Chief Minister is no different from the average Indian Chief Minister in terms of performance, but certainly seems to be much better in making an emotional connect with the average Indian voter. 

**- I must admit, the 3 posts I have written till now about him, have been among the higher viewed on the net, including visitors from Russia, Brazil and Sweden, so there is an ulterior motive here. 

Heal the World, Read Times of India..

If you want to know all that is wrong in India, all you need to do is pay the newspaper vendor 2 bucks and get a copy of the Times of India.

Like the other day, as part of its new found aura of social responsibility it had a wonderfully long article on the front page of the Pune Times on the evils of ragging. Needless to say, since Pune Times is an “Advertorial and Promotional feature” and the article was bloody long (at least longer than what I normally get the chance to read”, there was no way for me to know whether it wanted to advertise & promote ragging in colleges or dissuade people from ragging in colleges.

This article had all the standard Pune Times “glamour”. It had some Bollywood photo depicting ragging (3 Idiots, but of course). It had some two-pence celebrities telling their experiences of ragging in colleges. One smart ass actually told the story of how his cousin was ragged in college, and how that was an emotionally traumatic experience for him. For some reason he also mentioned in the same quote that his cousin has forgotten that incident, but this dude was traumatised enough to make a movie about it. 

I skipped through most of it, (I mean, who reads Pune Times for its journalistic excellence?) till I came to very the end, in a bright red box with bold white font was my absolute favourite TOI section.

Times View.

In case you have not heard about it, Times View is where the editors of ToI decide that they should show off their vast and superior knowledge of all that is just and fair in this world, and you know, for the benefit of the reader guide him through what is an absolute horror that this world has now become. This applies to politics, sports, civics and everything else where the ToI believes that the nation has a right to know. (It is another matter that with a circulation of approx. 7.65 million in a country of 1.2 billion, TOI has the eyes of roughly 0.58% of India’s population, or as a wise Parsi man once told me – “A dimple on the arse of an ant that sits on the arse of an elephant”)

Anyway, such insignificant details should not bother us.

This beautiful piece of socially relevant journalism had this fabulous insight.

Those found ragging should be punished severely, so it acts as a deterrent. We need stricter laws, applicable nationwide. Institutions should be vigilant and take immediate disciplinary action against senior students who rag.

Now, raise your hands all those who think that what we need in India is stricter laws.

Seriously?? We waste 7 million trees every day on tripe like this??

We have laws made from the 1860’s still in place.

We have laws where you can face serious jail time for a speech.

We have laws where a Facebook post can cause you to be booked for sedition (it’s never been done 

before, but it’s possible. Look it up).

We have laws which still allow the death penalty.

That’s how strict our laws are.  

Our problem is not that we don’t have enough strict laws. Our problem is that we have too many strict laws.

In case you haven’t figured out yet, I have serious issues with this state of affairs. Two serious issues, at least.

One, given the strictness of the laws, the system always has to decide whether a. a crime was committed and if it was, then b. whether the crime merits the strictest possible punishment. This takes up a lot of time, (especially since we have 1.2 billion people, so the possible permutations are beyond the standard excel sheet). This, delays the entire judicial process and the justice is served at times when it is completely irrelevant.

And that is not taking into account frivolous charges, for which there is no penalty on someone placing frivolous charges.

Two, when someone is caught for the crime, everyone involved (investigator, investigated, support resources) takes all this into account and then individually determines whether it is worth going through this rigmarole or negotiate a suitable punishment among all concerned instead of going through the entire judicial system. Some people call this corruption, but in essence it is a bargaining tool for not having to go through years of litigation.  

All this nonsense about the government needing to be a stricter school principal is hogwash and cynical.

School principals need to be better at being school principals.

The world will then be a better place.. 

The Burden of Proof...

At this point, this late in the day, I am a little ashamed to say that I have not paid much attention to the Delhi Gang Rape case.

More so, because there really is nothing I can say about the entire sordid affair..

And also, being male, anything I say really has no meaning to what has happened, nor can I in any way even comprehend the brutality of the entire episode.

But now that I have decided to write on a daily basis, I decided to do a basic Google check on the entire affair.

And based on the aforementioned Google check, have come to the conclusion that there is no drop of sympathy and outrage that has not been oozed out at whatever forum there exists. Since the victim cannot be identified publicly, she has been given about 7 different names, by my count. I am not a sociologist by any means to have any treatise on why this happened, and what it means for society in general, and how it depicts how women are treated etc., so I really cannot comment, but everything (including the media coverage) just gave me the creeps and made me even more convinced that the criminals who did this should get the maximum possible sentence that a crime like this can get.

Other than one bit, which seemed a little odd to me.. And it is something that we seem to do, every time a sensational criminal case comes up in public hearing.

So, I am going to be asking this, and please don't kill me for asking this.

Why does the victim get full confidentiality, but the accused do not?? 

The case might be watertight, and DNA might prove it, and the fingerprints might exist, and there might be a dying declaration and all that.

But at the end of the day, the 5 men arrested are as yet accused, and not convicted of this crime. And here I know about how 30-year old Ram Singh, a bus driver, his brother Mukesh, a Pawan Gupta and a Vinay Sharma, did all this.. Not just that, I know that Ram Singh's mother says that if he did it, he should be hanged, his house where he lives with his parents in Delhi was shown on national TV, his wife died in 2010, and he once eloped with a girl. He was also thrashed by the inmates of Tihar Jail.

Rape is evil. We protect the victim's identity to avoid the victim from having to undergo further social stigma. However, we are accusing 5 men of having perpetrated this evil act, and have no qualms freely discussing their entire life history in public domain? What if it turns out that even 1 of them has been falsely accused and is acquitted? Who washes off this stigma off of that man? Will even a single one of all those protesting at Jantar Mantar and elsewhere asking for the 5 to be publicly hanged  come forward to offer such a man a livelihood?

Are they being flogged in public just because they cannot afford the PR campaign to defend themselves?

Or is it our CID / Adaalat viewing TV voyeurs who are just watching another show, where cases are cracked and justice is delivered inside 1 hour including commercial breaks? 

This has nothing to do with the attitude of men towards women in India, which is probably worthy of another post. My point is just that if we truly believe that everyone is innocent until proven guilty, and that even 100 guilty parties can go free as long as an innocent is not falsely convicted, then the accused should have the same rights to confidentiality as the victim, as the repercussions of the accusations are probably longer lasting than the actual crime.

What am I missing?

Ei incumbit probatio qui dicit, non qui negat  
(the burden of proof lies with who declares, not who denies)
**********************************************

Healthy, Wealthy & Wise

Ever so often, completely unrelated things in your day to day life come together to create a larger meaning.

I have one such event over the last four days.

On Monday, I came in to work and had the opportunity to listen to an address made by Jim Collins made to some of the leadership at our company. No comments (good or bad) about the address, but the basic focus of the address was to emphasize on having setting goals which are so large that it takes special dedication to getting these accomplished. Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals (B-HAGs, as he called it). These need to be structured, with a clear focus and with a greater purpose and meaning. These seem so outlandish that at first gasp the enormity of the exercise is beyond belief, borderline stupid. But when you do get there, it seems like the goal was so easy, and what got you there was the blood thirsty dedication that you displayed to getting there. Also, the discipline has to be relentless and no excuses should be given or taken.

Now, I am not the type who gets inspiration through someone’s address or talk nor am I disciplined, dedicated or any of those jazzy things, that a lot of the people keep preaching to me about. But something about that address did resonate at a personal level.

Monday was also the last day of 2012, or in other words, when I woke up on Tuesday I was saying hello to a new year and new beginnings. Somewhere I feel like this year is going to be more meaningful and the start of something amazing. Jim Collins’ address may have had something to do with it, but for the first time in my 34 years, I have actually had the urge to come up with new year resolutions.

However, since it was my first time around, I really didn’t know where to look. On Tuesday night, I had a feeling that my 2013 resolutions were going to go the way of 99.9% of all New Year resolutions in recorded history.

Which is when Wednesday came along, with a wonderful surprise.

And some clarity..  

Turns out, this blog has been quoted in the Financial Times. Not as a stupid, know-it-all, comment trolling someone, not as a question to an agony aunt or any of the standard stuff. Was actually quoted for my opinion aboutCricinfo being acquired by ESPN.

Gideon Rachmann, Tim Harford, Chirag Panjikar!!!! Needless to say, I’m feeling proud today about something that happened in 2007.

What does this have with New Year resolutions, you may ask?? What about that Collins guy??

Well, the FT incident cleared my head about the fact that blogging gives me some peace of mind and makes me look a little wiser. (And determined that the next time something like this happens will not be 6 years too late)

So here are my Big Hairy Audacious Goals for 2013, structured with catchy titles that I came up with, since everything these days needs to have a catchy title for association and maintaining easy narratives.

Top line, Bottom line, Waistline

Top line –

Now that we know that this blog gives me some peace of mind and some me-time, it is not acceptable that I get this peace of mind once every 100 days, or every 30 days, or every 7 days. I want it every day, 

Hence: 

B-HAG #1 - Every day, this blog shall feature at least one, newly written 500 word post.

Not on an average for a year, not once in a blue moon, no specific topics or anything like. I shall not blog about work and preferably not specific instances in my personal life (this is not a bloody diary, it’s my blog). But every day, I shall write (not attempt to write, not try to write, but WRITE).

If I don’t write one, you as a reader are free to ridicule me on any forum you so desire, regardless of whether you like the crap that I spew out, and will be spewing on a daily basis.

Bottom line -   

As the phrase goes, you cannot live on love and fresh air alone. I don’t know crap about investing and like to tell myself that I am not a financially driven person. However, there is income and there is wealth, and I’ve had enough of this income business, it’s time to start creating some wealth. Inflation is at 8%, and I need returns that are not just beyond this inflation, but also balanced and bloody sustainable. So keeping in line with this, here is:

B-HAG #2 – My overall investment portfolio for 2013 shall result in a return of at least 20%. All this without the help of a professional portfolio manager.

Don’t ask me how I can do that, since I don’t know the basics of this either. But I figure there shouldn’t be much to it, since most people from all these banks and shadow banks that approach me seem to be getting by by flashing clichés at me.

Waistline –

At the latest visit to the pediatrician, I found out that I weigh 95 kilograms. I have weighed 95 kgs for a long time now, and I am bloody sick of this. All this portfolio and peace of mind is of no use if my health is not with me. 7 years ago, I went from 97 kgs to about 85 but that was then, and this is now. All the excuses I give are the lies I tell myself to make the reality sound palatable. So with all this in mind,

B-HAG #3 – As of December 31, 2013 I shall weigh less than 85.5 kgs. (A reduction of 9.5 kgs, i.e. 10% of current weight, seems fair).

As my good friends, I invite suggestions from you for what “punishment” should be bestowed on me should I fail to meet this particular goal, since there is a defined end date and a quantifiable deliverable. You can comment on this blog, or through Facebook / Twitter where this post will be posted.   

That’s it. These are my goals for 2013. 

Discipline is the key.

Please don’t pray for me.

Help me wherever possible through comments, suggestions, ideas, tips, encouragement and ridicule.

And welcome to a window to what promises to be wonderful personal journey!!!!   

Lies and Statistics...

"What makes me a blogger is the physical discomfort I get from knowing a terrible idea sits out there needing to be destroyed so badly" - Modeled Behavior


Or so it says on top of this page.

And I think there sits a terrible idea out there, which is waiting for me to destroy it “with great vengeance and furious anger”

However for the last month or so, I have been unable to articulate it enough. I briefly indicated what I wanted to post, as a follow-up to a previous post, but never really got the angst or the burden of the proof.

But something I saw this morning as I was surfing the net while sipping my morning coffee made me sit up and try to make another attempt at culling the sort of nonsense that gets peddled these days.

And that something was this FDI by state chart on the Financial Times “Beyond Brics” blog.

What’s so weird you ask?

Despite the annual road show that highlights the “Vibrant” nature of the state, despite the standard Google Ad Sense Advert that comes on my blog bestowing the strong leadership presence in the state, it looks like “industry friendly, dynamic, business minded (and whatever other nonsense you want to scope out)” Gujarat lies 6th in FDI invested over the last two years.

Surely something was wrong. I distinctly recall doing some research for my MBA Macroeconomics assignment, where there was an official site which said the state gets 22% of all investment in India. Heck, I even put it in my paper!!!

Sure enough, here it was..

In any case, a single chart does not signify reality, so I decided to do some more research, and landed on this analysis from Business World on India’s most competitive cities.

Published last week.

The most competitive city in Gujarat is Ahmedabad (not surprising) but ranked only 10th in all of India, behind at least 6 cities currently being misgoverned by UPA coalition partners. 10th is not bad, definitely, but somewhat like the disappointment you get when Indian Olympians end 10th in their events.

But then these are numbers which are only showing one element of the entire dynamic. What about the people of Gujarat? How are they performing? Surely they must be doing very well, given the dynamic leadership of their state government?

Voila!!! Google Zindabad.

There is a fabulous report released on Human Development Factors released last year. That can provide some guidance. . You can read it if you have some spare time. All 261 pages of it

Again, not bad, somewhat good, mostly distinctly average.

So what’s the point, here?

Seriously?? You still don’t get it???

Simply put, Is Narendra Modi - who my Facebook wall tells me is our saviour if there is a God above, and is the only one who truly deserves to rule  lead us come 2014 - all fart and no shit???

Reconciliation

A few days ago, this month, this blog completed 8 years. Statistically that’s not a long time. It’s no jubilee year, no ruby, diamond, paper, golden, platinum, whatever anniversary. But it is 8 years, and it hasn’t been easy. If you think it’s sustaining a blog for 8 years is easy, you could do one of two things –

There’s a button to the top left of the screen – NEXT BLOG. Clicking it will take you to a randomly generated blog site. Click it, and chances are you will see a blog which has not been updated for at least 6 months. Click the NEXT BLOG button on that blog. Same thing. Rinse. Repeat. You’ll see what I mean.

OR

Start one of your own. We’ll speak in 8 years. We can share notes. Hopefully by then, this blog will be in its 17th year of updating.

That said, I think over the last 8 years, a lot of changes have happened. In me, in my writing, in my likes, dislikes. It’s like I am a different person altogether. It’s not only the blog which has contributed to this change – family, parenthood, relocation, maturity (I hope) and many other things I am sure have definitely played a part – but through these 8 years, this blog with its 445 published posts (and infinite unpublished ones circling in my head), has given me company.

Or you could argue, has kept me (mostly) sane.

(In case you haven’t yet figured out, there is no purpose, moral, angst, emotion hiding behind this post. Once in a while, it’s good to reflect on where we are and what we’ve achieved, without the burden of a specific milestone celebration)

Standing on the shoulders of giants...

As a kid, I was an average sportsman. Not exceptional, but probably average enough to make the team if I really tried, and that’s about it. I was never the athletic type. I could play decent enough but I don’t think anyone from my school days, would swear that they remember a special talent called Chirag Panjikar. I don’t think even my mom would say that.


But I was a sports fan. A fanatic, is more like it. I knew the games, the rules, and downright anything that was related, the championship records, the scores, patterns, you name it. Forget Maradona, Becker or Gavaskar, I knew my Greg Louganis from my Greg LeMonds, and my Daley Thompsons from my Morten Frosts. I was that kind of a sports fan.

But that’s not the point.

Sports were serious business in my school. And boys who represented the school in sports were the closest thing we had to rock stars. The kind, who were the heroes of boys from the younger classes. (Riklin Cup, 1990-91: Vincents 4 – Loyola’s 1, I remember it like it was yesterday..) And there were boys, who were real good. The kind of caliber, that opposition school coaches planned about. We had the best coaching in town, the best facilities, (definitely the best school ground in Pune, even today), the best talent. Talent that won our school the Inter School championships, 50 years in a row (That record is still going on). Hockey, Football, Athletics, Tennis, Basketball, (everything but cricket), was something that we prided our wins. Kids from other schools were in such awe of the kind of facilities we had, that I’m sure every year, we had at least 2-3 wins out of the opposition giving up just because they were playing us. We would take newspaper clippings of the inter-school events, and put it on the notice boards.

I could name these kids, but the list would always be smaller than the actual set of heroes from my school. I don’t want my failing memories, of 20 years ago, being the reason for missing out on not naming the sports stars from my school days. Some I am in touch with, some I am not. They’re all well settled now. Some are doctors, Ph. Ds, software engineers, one is a lawyer in Singapore. One, I think is a stock broker. Couple of them are in the army, quite high up now.

Pretty much the gamut of professional achievement has been achieved by these guys

Everything except sports.

Not one.

Zero.

Zilch.

The best facilities, the best talent, the best possible set up for a school setting, and zero professional sportsmen.

That’s the reality of our 6 medals, and that's why it’s going to be a slow, painful climb to the top of the Olympic medal tally.

Forget 2016, I’d say 2024 or maybe 2032.

Because sports, like art, is not a chemical formula that can be achieved overnight (unless you’re the Chinese, but even there, there are some suspicions of chemical formulae being involved). Making a living out of sports is a lot of toil. It’s about living in the insecurity that you may never be able to provide for your family if you’re not good enough, and still thinking that it’s worth the risk.

And you cannot do it without heroes.

Heroes, role models, guiding lights, whatever. The kind, who have been in your shoes before, and who can guide you that everything will be all right in the end. For every Saina and Sushil Kumar, there is a Gopichand and a Satpal Maharaj, who briefly tasted success, but couldn’t sustain it. Who, knowing your insecurities, can convince you that they have seen the light, and that you have what it takes to touch that light.

Someone who knows, what it was that kept them from reaching the top, and who will guide you to that one missing ingredient.

Someone that a generation of Indians never had – a generation that is today spending their lives in air-conditioned offices as engineers, doctors, army men, lawyers, because that was easier than hitting their collective heads against a brick wall.

Someone that generations of Indians going forward will have for the rest of their lives.

Critique us.. Pity us.. Stupid us..

Has been a while since I wrote anything.. Anything worth reading actually.. the last few posts have been for want of a better word, pretty much crap.. the angry, frustrated tenor of the posts is not really me.. But I write for want of a better hobby, so you have to live with it, till I come up with something better… This post is just a general rambling of whatever is coming to my mind. I am writing just my thoughts. No guarantees whether this would come up anyway close to what I am capable of.

In that regard, I think I am pretty much like this country, and the people of this country. Capable of much more, but strangely producing drivel, just because we need to do something, so that people don’t think we’re dead. Scream so that people know we’re alive. Without screaming, everyone thinks you’re dead, and really we have enough dead around here. The situation is ripe for a satire of the most blistering kind, but I am afraid no one will quite understand the satire underneath it all.

It’s not like I am very frustrated with life. If anything, it’s quite the opposite. There is so much to be optimistic about, that my frustrations are directed generally towards the pessimists of the world. This apparent need to get worked up about everything is beyond my modest level of understanding of this world. I like my life leisurely, laidback if you will. It is quite beyond me to cry outrage at the drop of a hat. You could say that my parents taught me to trust people, and look at the brighter side of things. This conspiracy theory about everything and everyone is way beyond my league.

Take for example, this constant meme going on about how India is having a disappointing Olympic games, and how our system is to blame. How cricket rules everything, leading to disproportionate attitudes towards the rest of the sportsmen and women in this country. Maybe we are having a disappointing Olympic Games. Maybe we’re not. I really don’t know. What I do know is the same bunch of people who wrote/said that we’re going to win every bloody medal in sight and each of the 87 (or whatever) sports persons is going to come back with at least a bronze, are now saying that the team is having a disappointing Games. Truly, I didn’t know who the hell Deepika Kumari was, till I was told that she is the world’s best archer and is going to win and obliterate every known record in sight. No one told me that she is 17 years old. I know how I was when I was 17. If someone is ranked world number 1 at the age of 17, that’s a mighty fine achievement. Better than pretty much anyone in my family (before or after me) would achieve. Even if she doesn’t win the damn medal. For myself, I find it a very creditable achievement that I can change a diaper on a baby that is attempting wiggle away and turn towards the multi colored beach ball right behind, and I am TWICE her age!!!

It’s sports. A game. At the end of the day it nothing to do with winning and losing. All that nonsense about winning is everything is beyond me. Some win, some lose. Terming those who have lost as “losers” is stupid, especially when I am sitting on my couch watching an idiot box. It is very difficult for me to get worked up only because ESPN paid a billion dollars to broadcast the games. In that sense, the old days of DD National were so much better. Free to broadcast, with the most boring hosts and sets, and no advertisers, and zero incentive to attract the last set of eyeballs on the planet to eke out a profit.

What about patriotism, you say? What about all the pride and joy you get out of hearing the national anthem and the national flag? What about the chance to show what progress India has made in the field of sports? They are representing me and you and why on earth would you want the world to think that we suck at sports.

Hold that thought. Think about that for a second. They represent you and me. Now imagine yourself on a sports field. Imagine how things are going to turn out. Suddenly things seem crystal clear.

It is because they represent you and me that they never win at the Olympics!!!!

... Like a rolling stone...

HELP!!!

I need somebody, HELP!!
Not just anybody, HELP!!
You know I ....

Aww crap!!!!

That’s not what I wanted to write.. Or started to write about anyway..

I just wanted to write about how easily I get distracted and I need to get some help, keeping all the distractions at bay..

When I was younger, so much younger than today,
Never needed anybody’s help in any way..

Stop, Stop, STOP!!!

It’s just one thought after the other… If I ever could populate my thought bubbles in real time, like a comic book, I would be on a never ending loop.

I just started the post as HELP!!!, and then I hear John Lennon going all Help!!! in my head..

And then I go down that path, just following that trail..

I think I should be down with some kind of Adult ADHD or something..

Only, it is attention deficit for sure, definitely no hyperactivity, and I am certain some kind of disorder.

I think ADD is definitely a possibility.

Constant badgering makes me going after the biggest bling of information at the first opportunity..

Like a bloody Powerpoint presentation, that goes over everything in bullet points, and I keep going to the next slide wondering what fabulous tidbit of useless information am I going to be attracted to next..

Like a kid in a candy store or an addict desperate for his next high.

Too much information, very little application.

Everything force fed to me in packets that I am told are customized to give me everything I need to know,

You know it is ironic, that what I need to know is also told to me by the person providing me that information.

Like NDTV giving me a stupid cheat sheet for every random bit of faux outrage that it keeps trying to manufacture.

Aaarrrggghhhhhh!!!!!

Give me data, don’t give me your analysis. I really don’t care about your analysis or your opinions.

And I don’t care what others think about it either.

FYI, Data is plural for datum, not for anecdotes.

Just give me the friggin’ data, let me decide, and no one gets hurt.

Don’t tell me that by having 8% conviction rate, the state of Maharashtra is more lawless than Bihar or UP, or that having a 90+% conviction rate in the North East is something to be proud of.

Don’t tell me that every person charged, is automatically a convict.

Don’t tell me that just because you think a politician is involved, he is guilty...

Don't tell me everything going on is basically a gigantic conspiracy theory out to screw your happiness..

Don’t tell me that it’s not your fault, but someone else is responsible for the mess you’re in..

Relax
I'll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship's smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move
But I can't hear what you're saying

Mental Masturbation - Or Khayali Pulao for a family audience..

A month and two days from today, this blog completes 8 years. By the count listed on the blogger dashboard, I have 442 posts completed, this being 443. 443 posts in 95 months is roughly 4 posts a month. I have strived to keep posting once a week, though for the last 8 weeks or so, have been ridiculously lazy. I wish I can blame someone, or something, but as always the fault lies not in my stars but in myself.

But that is not the point of this post. Since Blogger has started keeping track of the pageviews, this blog has also been viewed 14,650 times, which comes to about 150 (or so) times a month. Not bad since I could never have thought that people would want to read what I write. 150 a month, is not quite Andrew Sullivan category, but not bad I say.

Over the last 8 years, I have come to the realization that irrespective of whether you like to read this or not, I truly enjoy writing. But it takes testicular fortitude of an exceptional kind to write for a living – the kind that I only dream of right now. I tried briefly to have a Google Adsense account to track whether I could make a living out of this thing, but in 8 years, my total account accrual was $7.30 and even that I was not eligible for, since I don’t have a US address any more. But if I ever I start seeing more pageviews for this blog, (say maybe 100,000 a month), well you never know..

That said, the pageviews frequency has correlated closely with the frequency of writing. I have had months where I have reached about a thousand or so viewers. Even random people from Russia, Sweden and Argentina have viewed this blog. So there’s probably a lesson there. And (perfect) practice makes perfect. I could really do with some more writing practice.

But then, this is the age of instant gratification. An age of shortcuts. An age where the phrase “minor details” has gained prominence, and people (myself included) take the lift instead of the stairs. Teachers go through Google to set exam papers and students go through the same Google search to get answer keys. Given that I have the responsibilities of an employee, a dutiful husband, a doting father, a responsible son and brother, an MBA student, and a citizen of this world, I really don’t have the time to keep writing random crap that someone may or may not read in order to fulfill my dream of becoming a published author & minor celebrity with 1000 twitter followers. I need a tried and tested method for improving the pageview count so that this blog becomes popular enough to be listed in the celebrity pages. And what’s more, I don’t have time or money to enlist a management consultant, or a branding consultant or a PR representative, or an image management consultant, or whatever the hell people these days do to become popular.

So I am going to do something which I have anecdotal evidence that it works like a charm. This is something I have seen based on whatever websites I visit on the topic, and the PR machine is stupendous. Details are skipped when it comes to this tactic, and reading my Facebook wall is what is the one stop shop to remedying all that ails this country. I am using you, dear reader, as a guinea pig in my experiment to increase the viewership of this blog, that will help me in my selfish motive to become a celebrity. So here goes:

This country needs a strong, dynamic, vibrant, visionary leader like Narendra Modi, even if he is an egotistical, manipulative, insecure maniac.

….. to be continued..

 

Letting the Truth prevail...

Dear Mr. Khan,


You don't know me, but I do know you. I mean, who doesn't? But, turns out we're related. Related in a weirdass way, that only Indians would consider each other related in such way. Your wife's grandmother was my grandfather's first cousin. Or something like that. In other words, I believe I have relatives, who are also related to your wife.

But that's obviously not why I am writing this open letter.

Let me first start with congratulating you on your wonderful new show. It is a great concept, and the right topics seem to be selected. Also, the show has the right amount of gravitas, and needless to say, an anchor with the exact amount of credibility needed to bring out the seriousness of the issue. As you said in the promos, “Dil pe lagegi, tabhi baat banegi”.

Consider “baat dil pe lagi”

So much so, that I am going to come out with the truth, since the truth always prevails:

I didn’t watch the show.

Not that I didn’t want to, or had no interest in watching it. I did, trust me. But I had other things to do.

Not outside, but in and around the house. Minding the kids, while the wife was out. Paying the cheques for the bills that came, this week being the first week of the month, you see. Putting the clothes out to dry.

That kind of stuff.

But anyway, I’m not going to bore you with details of why I didn’t watch the show. I don’t think you missed me.

Airtel, Reliance, Star Plus probably did, but that’s beside the point.

What I am more concerned with, is that whatever I heard of the show, somewhat disappointed me.

Not that it’s not a great show. It may be. But if you truly want me to watch your show, you need to bring out a show, where not only do you promote a cause; you come up with actionable solutions. Not SMS to 575757 (or whatever) where Airtel provides special Re. 1. charge to petition the government to do something.

Do you truly, truly believe that my SMS will ensure that other people don’t kill a girl child? Pandering to the lowest common denominator with such gimmicks suggest to me that all this somewhere is a marketing brainwave for Star Plus, Airtel, Reliance, etc.. Tugging at our heart strings, making an emotional connection, and then making a profit.

Plus I am more of an ESPN, Idea, ICICI Prudential kind of guy

But I will still send that SMS, like how I go to a temple. Not sure of whether it would help, but it will sure make someone happy. And if that someone is happy, then I am happy. I may be the holier-than-thou, cynical, so-and-so that my wife says I am, or even worse, but I am a practical holier-than-thou cynical so-and-so.

But here’s what you need to do for me:

Forget going to Ashok Gehlot asking for help. Instead, help that poor lady who came to your show and held us to emotional ransom on national television, lodge a police complaint against her mother-in-law knowingly and willing pushed her baby girl down the flight of stairs, for attempted murder. Lodge a complaint against her husband and father-in-law for aiding and abetting the murder. Surely if what she says is true, a crime was committed, and the criminals should be punished.

Similarly, help mothers register cases against their family members who are killing the girl child. A hotline, an NGO, something that will provide them the emotional support. They need our support for showing courage, that what they’re doing is right. That, going against the family, is what is needed to get rid of this cruel practice.

Encourage people to register births and deaths. Lobby the governments to make it easier to register these. You see, the mother-in-law in the above case, would very likely get off scot free, because most likely the birth of those twins was never registered in the first place. How do you prove a murder in the court of law, of someone who there is no record of being born in the first place? There is a law signed in 1969 making it mandatory to register births and deaths. And as of 2001, only 61% of all births were registered.

And if you want to meet Gehlot for something, ask him to lift the ban on the sex determination tests. Instead, lobby him make them mandatory. You see, by banning the test, we’re killing the messenger. The tests, are to date, the only way of knowing whether there is a girl or a boy in the womb. If someone is killing the girls, the tests are pretty much the only piece of solid non-refutable evidence, admissible in the court of law, which can then be used to prove culpable guilt. Keeping the prohibition will only encourage people to approach quacks and practice unsafe practices.

Let’s encourage the use the technology we have, to eradicate a menace. Use the forum of your show to encourage people to do all those things which will help the government catch wrongdoers.

Help people bring the truth out in the open.

Because as you rightly put it, the truth always prevails.

See you Sunday, at 11am to rediscover my television viewing experience.


Best regards,
---


(PS: I spent more time writing this letter, than I would otherwise have spent watching your show. As I said previously, “Baat dil pe lagi”)

Ten Commandments - from Bertrand Russell..

Felt like sharing. And hope to have more of this, as we go along..

1.Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.


2.Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.

3.Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.

4.When you meet with opposition, even if it should be from your husband or your children, endeavour to overcome it by argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.

5.Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.

6.Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do the opinions will suppress you.

7.Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

8.Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.

9.Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.

10.Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool’s paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness.

Hat tip: Brainpickings via Marginal Revolution.

An angry post... A frustrated post..

Let’s do a small role play:

Imagine you’re driving on an open city road, when you approach a traffic light. About 50 yards or so from the light, the green light turns amber. You’re at that point where it is a split second decision whether you accelerate or take your foot off the pedal. You know for a fact that you may be able to cross the threshold but you will not clear the square before the light turns red.

Do you step on it, or do you follow the rules?

Let’s say now, you decide, using some miraculous sense of right and wrong, to stay within the limits of the rules and stop before the line. You’re waiting for the light to turn green, so you can proceed. And along comes a speeding vehicle, which seeing the road ahead open, decides to not bother with the rules, and just go ahead.

What do you do now?

You know no one is going to catch you. You are almost guaranteed to not be punished for not following the rules.

Do you still wait?

Exactly why do we follow rules, laws, processes, or guidelines?

Or more to the point, why do we need to follow these?

Or even more to the point, why do we follow some rules, laws, processes or guidelines and not some others?

Why, for example, do we have prashad with our right hand, and right hand only, after wiping the hand on the trouser, but not follow traffic laws?

Even when the prashad rule is an unwritten convention, barely mandatory, and hardly matters in the larger scheme of things, whereas the traffic law is written in our legal system, agreed to by representatives of our society, and implemented / enforced (at least superficially) by the protectors of law and order and an error could literally cost lives?

Are rules and processes the crutch we use only when we don’t want to do something?

Why do we say “Satyameva Jayate” when the reality is that it’s more a case of “Jayatyameva Satya”?

Why am I bothering to teach my kids to always do the right thing, when right and wrong are becoming increasingly subjective?

What, exactly, is the point of all this hypocrisy?

Raging Bull*#&@

Sometime in the recent past, in the name of political correctness, targeted marketing, and never offending a potential customer, we stopped calling stupid idiots stupid, and started referring to them as bored thrill-seekers.

Right then, and right there, the world stopped becoming a better place.

Every day I see incidents which wouldn’t have happened 15 years ago, and after a lot of soul searching, the only reason I can think of, is that people stopped ridiculing idiots in public.

I mean, what do you say to the thousands who flocked to Marina Beach, Chennai to witness a “live tsunami”???

Here’s what I would say if someone told me to come see a tsunami in Chennai:

ARE YOU FRIGGIN’ MAD???? EVEN RAJANI CAN’T BEAT A FRIGGIN’ TSUNAMI, YOU DUMBASS!!!! IF YOU’RE GOING ANYWHERE, YOU NEED TO RUN TOWARDS KERALA, NOT TOWARDS THE BLOODY BEACH, YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN!!! YOU THINK IT’S A FRIGGIN’ IPL MATCH, YOU BLOOMING IDIOT??? THIS IS NO WHISTLE POODU MOMENT, DAMMIT, RUN FOR YOUR BLOODY LIFE!!!

And then I would have politely declined the invitation.

But, that’s beside the point.

The point is, when “Idiot does as Idiot is” (to paraphrase Forrest Gump), it is our moral duty to call them that.

And then do to them exactly what their act deserves

In public.

So the next time someone is running a red light or driving on the wrong side of the road, I say mow the bastard down

After you call him / her an idiot, of course!!!

And if you hear Aaj Tak or Times Now faking enthusiasm for something that really doesn’t matter like Bilawal Bhutto’s tweets, swear at Arnab, call him an idiot and then switch off the TV.

It's what they deserve!!!!

KLPD...

The Korps landelijke politiediensten (KLPD; National Police Services Agency) is the national police force in the Netherlands, responsible for specialist missions that benefit from a centralized approach. It is independent from the regional police forces; but like them, it is subordinate to the Dutch Ministry of the Interior and has a staff of approximately 4,500. The KLPD operates both at national and international level from its HQ in Driebergen near Utrecht.

Source: Wikipedia

What are "Friends" for????

A couple of days ago, I was scrolling my Facebook wall, when I came across a random comment made by someone as a status update, on the state of the country and how every one currently in power was to blame for it, or something like that. The contents don't matter, but the statement was devoid of any use of factual data, and seemed like it was made purely with the intention of getting a few "likes" from the writer's friends.

Since such statements bring out the debater in me, I couldn't resist. I commented something on the lines of how the entire argument didn't make sense to me, since the data which I was seeing was completely different from what my friend seemed to be implying. He commented, then I commented, then he commented again, and then he commented again..

At which point I lost it..

But I could not bring myself to write that my "friend" was being a blistering idiot..

Which is when it struck me as to why Facebook is so popular, and yet seems so shallow..

That's because everyone is so fucking nice with each other!!!

(Sorry, no other way to put it.. )

No matter what you do, you cannot bring yourself to write something bad about someone who is your "friend" on his "wall" because that will make you look like mean. If it were in person, you would have told the guy whatever was on your mind, and settled your differences. But here, everyone is just so nice. More importantly, it's my theory that it's this requirement of being nice to your friends, that makes you mean to people who are never going to be your friends (Rahul Gandhi, Sachin Tendulkar, Shah Rukh Khan, to name a few). And your friends will never tell you that you're being stupid, they'll find your comment funny, and so they'll like it for some weird reason.

Look around you.. There are people you like, and there are people you don't like. And then there will be people you like, who will do things that you don't like, and when they do things you don't like, you will make sure that you tell them so. When your friend is being an oaf, it is your moral duty to tell him / her, in no uncertain terms that he/she is being an oaf..

That's what makes you a true friend..

Tongue Tied and Twisted...

It is with great sorrow that I have to report, that I believe I am gradually turning into a cynic.

Growing up, I was brought up to believe in the goodness of other people. We are all God's children, we were told. Don't do something that you would be ashamed of when you have to face the maker..

I truly believed in this, and I truly believed that other people truly believed in this.

But I don't believe in this facade any more. I still like to take it as a guiding principle, but no longer a fundamental belief. Or as someone said in our HR class recently, "I believe in people until I have a reason not to". 

You see, fundamental beliefs are a problem these days. It just doesn't help to have fundamental beliefs.

That's what I have become.

And so I felt sad, when I read about the poor IPS officer, who was mowed down by a tractor by the illegal mining mafia in Madhya Pradesh. I wanted to feel for him. I was told he was an honest man. His wife, an IAS officer, on maternity leave. He took on the mining mafia, and had to pay with his life.

I could so relate to him.

But I didn't feel a thing. Just shrugged and moved on..

Maybe it's because of having seen enough police officers. Maybe it's because my Facebook friends, Twitter tweeps and Arvind Kejriwal, kept telling me as to how there is no protection for honest people in this country now that it is being governed by the Congress, and Digvijay Singh telling me that it's all the BJP's fault, without actually knowing what happened. Maybe there's some part of me, which thinks that he was bumped off, not because he was a thorn in someone's side, but because he now knew too much. Maybe because I feel most of the times that when the Times of India gives me some information these days, it has some agenda behind it.

So I don't know what is true, I don't know what to believe, who to believe.

So the only belief I have is a cynical one.

Anyone else notice the irony?

Dogs and Indians

My late grandfather, hated the British. He hated the British more than he hated Pakistan.

Which to me seemed weird, everyone I knew hated Pakistan. Especially on a Friday when there was a game at Sharjah. Nobody hated the British. Everyone actually wanted to be British, and here was an old man who hated them more than the arch enemy itself.

But his logic was sound, or at least in his mind.

"When I was growing up" he would say "the British wouldn't allow dogs and Indians in to their private clubs".

However as the world changed, our exposure changed, and our world view changed. Pakistan and Pakistanis, looked no different from us. They had the same issues in their lives and they looked just as miserable as the rest of us. So did Americans, British, Chinese, Japanese, and pretty much everyone.

No one seemed different as a race, but definitely differed from person to person. I met Indians in the US who lived like they never left their mohalla from 1989, and Indians in India who lived in a first world country.

People are different, people are the same.

Why am I ranting all this, and what does this have to do with you?

That's because I got an email in my inbox today, which went something like this.

This is to bring to your notice that over the last few years it has been observed that Foreigners (of all origins) and Bachelors (including Indians), who have been residing on rent, have over-run the peace and tranquility of the esteemed XXXXXX Society. They have been a regular cause of nuisance and insecurity by means of vandalism, arson, violence, misdemeanor towards ladies, creating late night ruckus and disturbing the ambience of the society by performing illegal acts (Including drugs).

They are posing a serious threat to the families of flat owners residing here. It is to the extent that there have been some recent incidents whereby some flat owners and their family members have received beatings and physical harm and injury from these foreigner resident goons/ bachelors, when they requested the foreigners to refrain from performing acts of vandalism or misbehavior.

Owing to such serious threats to life and property and based on considerations above, we hereby request you "By Order of the XXXXXX Residents Co-operative Housing Society Ad Hoc Committee", invoking the legal powers and authority vested vide Letter from XXXXXX Builders Corporation (Memo Dated: 25th January 2012), to evict Foreigner/ Bachelor rental occupants from your Flat by 28th February 2012

XXXXX - Society name redacted on purpose to protect identity and confidentiality

 

It's wrong at so many levels, that I'll not bore you with everything. Just that a fatwa against foreigners and bachelors renting flats is pretty common all over Pune.

But not every foreigner is unwelcome here. Americans, British, Australians, and pretty much everyone who is Caucasian is ok. Foreigners are only Irani (not Iranian, Bahraini, Syrian, Palestinian, Iraqi, Kuwaiti… just Irani. Another way to be Irani, is to be not white, brown or black) or African (he of black skin). What's more, this is acceptable.

Which makes me wonder, whether the gripe my grandpa's generation had, was not that they were being disqualified simply for being brown skinned or Indian, rather that Indians were being compared to dogs.

Maybe if the British had placards which went like "Lions and Indians not allowed" we'd probably still be happily under British rule J

Caught and Bowled...

Now hang on a second..


Someone please tell me, why exactly Sachin Tendulkar should retire?

If your point is that he has achieved all that he could possibly achieve, my answer to that would be that he has achieved all that you wanted him to achieve. If he has different goals, he has never said so. In fact he has never said that he has specific goals, not 20,000 ODI runs, not 25,000 test runs, nothing.

If you think he’s made enough money that his 15 future generations will live comfortably, I’m reading the Forbes list of richest sportsmen (let alone individuals), and he’s nowhere near.

If you say he’s 39, and so should retire, well, I’m 34, and do you want me to retire in 5 years? I would LIKE to, but I don’t think I will be able to (that’s for another day though)

I say he’s enjoying himself, he thinks he can still play at this level, and hey, if he doesn’t want to retire, no one can force him to.

Not because he’s done so much for the Indian team, or anything like that, but because regardless of whether you’re Sachin Tendulkar or Sujith Somasunder*, you should be the one deciding whether you want to play on or become a software programmer (which is what Sujith Somasunder is doing now, btw).

Are we asking Mr. Tendulkar to retire in the middle of an away series? And then what, do we do? Send him home? Play with 13 available players for the remainder of the series? So can we stop this nonsensical meme till the team comes back?

Now, if you say that he shouldn’t be in the Indian national team, well that’s another matter altogether. But then, I don’t think he (Tendulkar, not Somasunder - I don’t think even Sujith’s mother wants him in the national team anymore) decides whether he’s in the team or not.

There are 5 gentlemen who pick the team also known as the Selection Panel. They pick 14 players for a tour. If a person is on the 14, and is fit, he is ready for selection.

Which brings me to the next question:

Can someone tell me why Sachin Tendulkar was selected to play this tournament?

*If you don’t know who Sujith Somasunder is, man you need to stop watching Aaj Tak, and be a true cricket fanatic..