Saturday, June 30, 2007

Kobayashi the King

Life is not fair. I knew that long ago. But should it really tell me that I can put on weight even when I eat an extra chapati, while this guy goes on to become the Champion Eater of the world, looking like this?

Friday, June 29, 2007

If Heaven was an IT organization

Funny stuff floating around on the net..

Roles in Heaven :
Brahma -- Systems Installation
Vishnu -- Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi -- Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati -- Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva -- DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh --Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada -- Data transfer
Yama -- Reorganization & Downsizing Consultant
Chitragupta -- IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras -- Downloadable Viruses
Devas -- Mainframe Programmers
Surya -- Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas -- In house Hackers
Ravan -- ! ;Internet Explorer WWWF
Lakshman -- Support Software and Backup
Hanuman -- Linux/s390
Jatayu -- Firewall
Dronacharya -- System Programmer
Vishwamitra -- Sr. Manager Projects
Valmiki -- Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna -- SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Arjun -- Lead Programmer (all companies are vying for him)
Abhimanyu -- Trainee Programmer
Draupadi -- Motivation & Team building
Duryodhana -- Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna -- Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra -- Visual C++
Gandhari -- Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas -- Microsoft Service Packs and patches

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Wi-Fi Memory

There's so much I would love to write on this blog, and I even think of stuff to write. But these thoughts come up when I am NOT by the computer. At the dinner table, in the toilet (always in the toilet!!), while driving (especially at the Big Bazar chowk, where there's people everywhere). But life gets in the way, and I never remember to jot it down. When, eventually, I do get in touch with a computer, I have forgotten all about it.
I am waiting eagerly for the day, when you have a wi-fi chip in your body, and any random thought you get can be processed on to the blog.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Traffic Rules

Yesterday it took me an hour and a half to get home from work.. Hour and a half of driving time.. Normally it takes me 25-30 mins.. Obviously, I thought something should be done about it.. The strange part is, that I have no idea what the problem was, since I decided to take a diversion (and got stuck in an equally bad jam there as well)..
I am also reading a book called the Undercover Economist (not while driving, don't worry.. It's too dark at nights). Highly recommended. My respect for Economics and economists has gone up tremendously since reading Freakonomics, and has gone up a step since this book. Why people do what they do, is such a great mystery, and economics attacks this problem. The author, Tim Harford, has addressed problems as diverse (and day - to - day) as coffee bars, supermarkets, and traffic through the eyes of an economist (an undercover economist) and has shown ways and means to solve the queues and crowd through economic incentives. He has shown the problem with the point of charging an upfront tax while buying a vehicle and not charging individual drives, and how this correlates with the traffic problem. London now has a charge for entering the city, and this has helped in a dramatic reduction in the use of the cars. Which brings me to my main question.
Can we have an economist in Pune solve the traffic problem??

Friday, June 22, 2007


A joke which only nerds would understand

      Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek. Einstein is the one who has the den...........He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching.....

Everyone starts hiding except Newton.........

      Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.
      Einstein's counting 1,2,3......97,98,99.....100........ He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front........

Einstein says “Newton’s out. Newton’s out....."
Newton denies and says "I am not out........I am not Newton......"

      All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

        Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared..... That makes me Newton per meter squared...... Since one Newton per meter  squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT.......!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

How to spend 2 Crores...

A few months ago, I had asked a generic question about what one would do with Rs. 2 Crore if one were to win while playing with Shahrukh Khan (or a lottery). Not too many people replied (only my dear friend Murugeshbabu, who is also the only person who reads this blog), which basically shows the quality of the blog. Regardless, I had also mentioned that I would announce what I would do with the money should I play the contest and win. However, time went by and I never got to writing what it is what I would do with the money. So here it is:


I would start a political party. A party with a difference.


Yeah, yeah, sure.. You say.. every party says it is a party with a difference. What is so different about your party. Well, there is. I shall float the party on the stock exchange.


Stock Exchange????


Yes, and I do think it is a very smart thing, and really surprised that no one has thought of it yet. Governance is the product we sell. People who believe in our style of governance, buy our shares. When more people buy shares, the stock price goes up. When the stock goes up, people make money. What else would cause the stock price to go up? Votes, of course. More people vote for us, more the stock rises, greater the profit people make. You can call it bribing for votes, but hey at least it's legal. Also, if it is run like a company, the political party has greater accountability and less corruption, since people have a direct stake in the benefit of the party.


There are other advantages too:

-         You can easily find out the shareholder demographic. So, you can field candidates only where you are doing well, in the initial period. Similarly if all political parties were on the stock exchange, you wouldn't need opinion polls. Just the stock price could tell you who the winner would be.

-         Since the common man has his money at stake, he is a bit better behaved since a problem would cause his own money value to drop.

-         The common voter has a stake in the party, so there's a direct voice for him/her in the running of the party. I know the elections also guarantee that, but here inaction will hit your pocket.


I know it is a radical idea. But I am told there is a website setup in Ireland, where you can run just about anything on an e-stock exchange. The website predicted election results with a 90%+ accuracy rates in the November 2006 US elections by listing the Republicans and Democrats as independent organizations. It's based on the theory that the in a multiple choice, the correct answer is chosen by the most number of people. Heck, even Wikipedia works the same way. And if Manchester United and Century 21 can be on the stock exchange, my political party has every right to be so as well.


It sure beats taking Mallika Sherawat to the Seychelles. (normal KBC answer to what you would do with 2 Crore)

Spell Check

I h8 SMS lnge. Mst of t times I dnt undrstnd wht is sd. It is so cnfsing. Y is it so dfclt to rite a cmplt wrd? Y cnt u rite you instd of u? it is jst insltng 2 t readr.


I ran a spell check on this above statement. This is what came out.


I h8 SMS lunge. Must of t times I dent understand what is sad? It is so confusing. Y is it so ducts to rite a complot word? Y cant u rite you inset of u? It is jest insulting 2 t readers.


On the telephone it is fine. But when you write letters, I do feel you should still write complete English. I find spelling mistakes pathologically revolting. And writing "u" instead of "you" is to my mind a spelling mistake.


Makes me feel like all those years of studying English under Ms. Doctor and Mrs. Lobo were for nthng!!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Stuck in a moment

“Indira would’ve made me President – Venkatswamy”

So screamed today’s headline in the Asian Age. Having no clue as to who this dude is, I decided to check out the article. Mr. Venkatswamy, is apparently a senior Dalit MP, whose goal is to become the President of India. Quite a noble goal, but then if no one has heard of your name, it might be a bit difficult. I doubt anyone has heard of Pratibha Patil either, but knowing what I know now, I’d say at least Sonia Gandhi has heard of her.

But it another thing that got me thinking. Mr. Venkatswamy said Indira Gandhi would have made him the nominee. He didn’t say Rajiv Gandhi or Narasimha Rao, or any other PM, but Indira Gandhi. Someone who died 23 years ago. There’ve been grown adults in India who have no clue about life in India during the rule of Indira Gandhi. But, Indira Gandhi lives on in the hearts and minds of Congressmen (and women). Why, I have no idea. But then, it’s the same every where. George Bush invokes Ronald Reagan whenever he’s in trouble, no matter that RR left the presidency almost 20 years ago.

All our pols (those that count anyway) are over 65 (Sonia is soon catching up). They’re past retirement age. Now wonder they think life was better in the good old days!!!

Making plans

You surf the web. You decide to check what's going on at your old company. There's mixed feelings about the stock price. You're happy to note that the stock has not sunk but it IS higher than what you sold it all off for (though not by much). And you realise there's a major conference coming up in May where they normally announce a lot of new stuff, and the stock's bound to surge.
And then you realise you are halfway through June.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Things I think I think (NIBM edition)

10. This is my first TITIT from our new home.. the internet connection is a bit iffy .. the connection is fine .. but figuring out getting the Netgear wireless router working out of a PPPoE connection was quite an experience.. I know I know that it is the duty of Tata indicom (and the like) to avoid other people using the connection, but for God's sake the internet is something that should be made easier.. If wireless internet is possible, they should allow it.. Anyway, if there's anyone with a netgear wireless WGR614 router who doesnt know how to get it to work off a PPPoE connection (Tata, BSNL, Sify), please get in touch..
9. The new place is getting some shape .. It feels like a looooooooong project which never gets done .. hope to post some more pictures in time.
7. This number is specifically for the 7 wonders of the world contest and the crappy propoganda going on for getting the Taj Mahal as one of the list. Hey, I am as patriotic as my neighbour.. But, honestly, I cannot add the Taj Mahal in the 7 wonders of the world list. Why?.. Simply because, I have not seen the damn thing myself .. How can I be fair to the others in the list if I vote for one which I have not seen? For the record, here is the actual site where you can vote Looking at the list I not seen a single one... and I bet all the people shouting from their rooftops have not seen them either.... So why oh why should I vote for the Taj.. I am Indian, but that does not mean the Taj should be there on the list.. The same people who want me to vote are the ones who spam us with mails how the Taj Mahal was actually Tejo-Mahalya and some Shiva temple which the evil Mughals converted... The same idiots are the ones who pollute the adjoining river so wonderfully, that the monument has a yellowish taint.. Grow up kids.. Mis-placed patriotism is of no use .. Go see all the other 20 ones on the list, and then decide if the Taj deserves to be on the list.. Not making the list will make no difference to you, nor to the Taj.. Also, I noticed the list doesn't include the Grand Canyon .. There's no way that's a list I want to have any part of.
6. While on this list, here are the 7 wonders of the world based on things I have seen in person (TV doesn't count):
        a. Pune Traffic -- Anyone who has driven here will know what I am talking about..
        b. Just about anything to do with Apple Computers
        c. Route 1 driving from LA to San Francisco
        d. The internet - C'mon, definitely it is of more use to you than seeing the Stone Henge
        e. The Grand Canyon - saw it from the window of an airplane. But it was awesome
        f.  The Pacific Ocean. - ON this earth, there is no single thing which is larger than the Pacific Ocean. And it still didn't make the list
       g. Dadar Railway Station, Platform #1, Central Line, 8.14 pm. Friday. - Get into the train, and then tell me it's something that's not a wonder.
5. Radio Mirchi is in serious need of some competition in Pune .. Obviously it's the most popular radio channel in Pune city. Unfortunately, even though it's not the best radio channel currently on the air, it's definitely the one that most people listen to. It's everywhere. You buy a car, your car radio is preset to 98.3 FM.. Same if you were to buy a CD-Player with FM .. But, in my opinion, it is taking the listeners for a ride.. Commercials are more prominent than songs.. On Sundays, the RJs are replaced totally.. They pitch it as "shut up, I'm listening" Sunday, but the songs are not on all the time. The ads are.. In terms of song time, I bet, there's no difference.. The funny thing is, if a competitor does come along, where would they advertise?? Can someone tell me if I can create a radio channel out of my iPod.. At current status, it can run for 15 days without repeating.. Surely people would like, no? Guys, at least play the songs full. Don't cut to commercial midway through the song. However, credit where credit due.. They are celebrating Fathers Day with the same gusto that they celebrated Mother's Day.
4. Father's Day .. Mother's Day .. Valentine's Day.. We never celebrated them when we were kids .. Somehow they never felt that important.. This is a no-win situation.. If you come out against it you are a spoilsport, a cold blooded insensitive twerp who has no graitude and sense of celebration. If you do support it, you are just spending money (which, coincidentally, is exactly what all the guys calling you all those nasty things want you to do) which would have been firmly seated in your own wallet. However, I am going to stick my neck out and say what's been on my mind. I do think it is a conspiracy of all the marketing companies, since there is absolutely nothing to celebrate between New Year and Diwali
3. Cheeni Kum is a good movie .. Never thought 20 years ago, that you would see Amitabh Bachchan in a lover-boy role.. I know my Hindi movies, and I don't recall a movie where it was a simple boy-meets-girl, boy-falls-for-girl kind of movie where Bachchan was the boy.. The Angry young man has changed for sure.. The music also is wonderful. Illayaraja is a great musician / composer.. Compared to him, others are music directors.
2. Speaking of Hindi film music, I am convinced that it is  Hindi film music which has stifled the development of the music scene in India. Ask anyone even half knowledgeable and he/she will agree.
1. Anyone else think Hrithik Roshan does steroids? Look at his body and compare it to the Hrithik of 2000.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Corporate Takeover

I don’t know if this is a good thing. The inner geek in me, says that my favourite site in the world has sold out to the moneyed suits. The practical side says that on the evidence of the deliverable will be much sleeker and better. Can't say which is better.

However, it would be interesting to note the changes in Cricinfo and how much accommodates it in the US version. Somehow I don't see Ponting displacing Manning from the front page, if the Super Bowl were on the same day as the World Cup final.

Mi Casa su Casa ... (courtesy Picasa)

As you may or may not be knowing, the last few months have been terribly busy with getting our new house set up. We finally have managed to get some semblace of normalcy, (and an internet connection) to be able to stitch up a few photographs on the internet. Seen above are a few pictures